Signs You Might Be Dating A Psychopath
The longest relationship for either of us. I believe, women are better at lieing than men. All you need to know is he needs to get out—now. Your partner has to know where you are and what you are doing at all times. And how long until I can trust again is my only concern. Do yourself a favor Hazel — and own where you are at.
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Perhaps even find guys outside your circle at school, maybe even outside the school completely. We are still together today 13 years and I will never forget those few months at the beginning! Meanwhile, chat up some other guys, enjoy your life and explore your interests. He blamed everything on me things that normal people would fess up to. I am trying to get my life back together now and I wont lie I do think about him sometimes.
I am just starting to date. It scares me what is out there. I am worried that I could be dating a player so appreciate the advice I have read here.
Is it me and not trusting, my ex accused me of things I didn't do and found he was dating while we were separated. Does this make me not trusting.
Mirror I wrote the message on May 30th, 7. First thanks for your response. I guess a part of me suspected the conclusion you came to. But here's the thing I still haven't heard back since my apology and in fact hangs head in shame I may have reached out again Now he's just deleted me from Facebook which just shows me he has no intention of getting in touch or wanting to stay in touch.
Not only does this mean there's no possible hope of a reconciliation, I feel like I should never have given him a second chance after he disappeared the first time.
So, I'm guessing I'll never hear from him again but how do I deal with the rejection? Because I feel rubbish. Anonymous, "I may have reached out again When you do that, you immediately place yourself in a position of vulnerability and one where you can be hurt.
Why do that to yourself? If a man wants you, he knows where to find you - and he WILL seek you out. So as a woman, it's always best to let that happen as it's the only real way a woman can know whether or not a man is genuinely interested - to see if HE pursues HER.
Because when women pursue, basically they're attempting to convince a man to be with them. And that never works. And you should never have to convince someone that you're a great person. If they don't already see that and value it as such, then you simply let that be their loss. But I also know that many women refuse to accept non-interest from a man, particularly when he was interested enough to sleep with her once or twice, and as such, they are in denial of the man's non-interest and then willingly place themselves in positions to be used yet again by the man, only for him to disappear a second time.
The best indicator of someone's future behavior is observation of their PAST behavior. As for dealing with the rejection, you have to cease feeling like a victim and you have to accept the fact that you walked right into this - and you have to walk through the pain, the fire.
Sounds harsh, I know. I met a guy online we went out on a coffee date this was followed up with another date. He than asked me to go away with him for a night. We spent two great days and one night together and when we went to breakfast he spoke about as becoming exclusive.
Like some of the others on here I had set up a false profile. A few days before going away with him he had mad a contact though had never spoke. On the last day of the time spent away he left and I went online that night of which he than started a conversation and gave his phone number to the false profile.
I confronted him and told him that this was a girlfriend of mine and we quite often exchange notes on who we were talking too and that I was devastated as we had only discussed that morning about taking our profiles off in the near future.
He said what he did was wrong He finally rang me on the Sunday night. He text me all week and rang me every day. The weekend comes again and he told me he was busy with family problems. He was going to call me later that day of which was a Friday and he didn't. I sent a text to him a couple of hours ago just asking how his weekend is going and I have got no reply. Probably all up I have known him for 4 weekends and not once was he available.
I think he has someone in the back ground or is a player. I feel like a fool as I should have let it go the first time I am not going to answer if he trys to communicate now Anonymous, "why do guys have to do this what to they get out of it?? Been dating this guy for 2 months..
He was consistantly-- texting and calling-I spent the weekend with him -we had to cut it short because his mom hurt herself so we both come home -- we live within 50 miles of each other and now -- he has called 1 time in the last 4 days and sent a text with his picture and a Waylon Jennings song "Good hearted woman in love with a good timing man" and has now been sending me songs to my email Not sure what the heck to think about that After the 3 songs this morning I tried to called-it kicked into VM..
Have I fell into the hands of a player? Anonymous July 10, It's a player - a womanizer. Proceed with caution dear. Mamita - Hi Honey, how are you? BF - I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I haven't forgotten you! As a matter of fact I was just thinking of YOU! Can YOU guess what it may be!!??? Time to dump the playa? Anonymous July 11, 2: Time to - WALK: I have a question I am a female and I am the cheater.
Ive been cheated on many times withmy current bf and cant find it in me to breakit off, so Ive just been enjoing life just as much as he has, lets say. Anyway, I cheated with a HOE. This guy knew everything to say, do …and Im so infatuated with the thought of him. He has done this before, and dated other women after stealing them away…. My mind is spinning. If I was to fall for him, could we have something real? I am 30 so I have had a lot of experience with dating. This is really well written!
Nice job on this article, I totally agree. The Ladies, I published the comment above on purpose gals. So that you can see, first hand, the immaturity and utter lack of respect that these sorry ass excuses for men have for women. Like women aren't smart enough to see these overcompensating macho idiots and their high school tricks without some sort of "opening" to do so first.
And most times, the first thing that gies these idiots away isn't what is seen, it's what is smelled sensed - a big pile of shit. And he totally gives himself away here as a pick up artist, player type in that: As for this "needs a good hard fuck" - notice the vulgarity he spews regarding such an intimate act? It's not special to him, it never is to a player. Players are generally not very complex, "deep" individuals. They are generally very shallow instead and emotionally "cut off" and detached from their emotions, as you can see, and intimacy is one of their biggest fears insecurity.
As such they view things on a very shallow, very primative, very primal level - much like a caveman, "Me man, have needs, want sex, ugg ugg.
And they don't make for good lovers, boyfriends or husbands as a result. Hell, they don't even make for good boy toys either as it's all about them and you - yea, most times, they could replace you with say. They won't respect you, they won't connect with you, and they won't ever be able to make you happy. Thank you for the article. I too was hurt by a so called player, only it was my first love from over 25 years ago.
All the signs were there and even though I felt it in my gut, I just didn't want to believe he would do that to me. We reconnected on Facebook. I won't bore you with details but what ended it after putting up with his games was his lack of respect when he kept getting me to converse with him on Facebook chat and leave me hanging in the middle of the conversation. When he wouldn't stop, I ended it but was crushed my first love would do that to me.
There was a guy i was interested in for the last 7 months in the armed forces who has been playing games.
Although it was an internet thing so i never met him. He would drop in and out of contact when it suited him about meeting up and then when it got closer to the day he would disappear or be busy. Some Facebook detective work has showed he has been dating a beauty pagent queen which is a bit gutting since i have fair skin and dark hair.
I decided to delete and block him as i didnt need the sadness and stress. Out of sight of mind right? I guess i tolerated it as i was flattered someone so good looking would show me interest. Feel a bit exhausted now from all his games when i was so honest. Although i try to remember my friends advice that ive probably had a lucky escape and probably made him into some knight in shining armour he wasnt.
The best tip or hope I could give Ok i met this guy and the first time. The second time we hung out and went to see a movie i paid.
He said he would pay me back when he got paid. Then he set up us a date to go out. But at the last min canceled bt asked if i could go to his place and still hang out. We just talked on txt for a few days then he asked me to come ovee his place again and i said i couldn't because of how he didn't reply the first time he asked.
And we didn't have sex. Anonymous August 30, 2: In the early stages of dating, I don't advocate accepting lazy date offers house hang outs that have a propensity to lead to fee and easy "hookups" for these guys. The early days are when both parties should be impressing one another and displaying what they have to offer each other, and not just financially.
When a man dates a woman and takes her to nice places and shows her a good time, what he's really signaling to her is, "I like you, I respect you, I want to treat you special like a lady and make you feel nice and I am WILLING to show you that. If someone gives you the milk their time for free, that individual on the receiving end getting free milk - is not going to suddenly feel inspired to purchase the cow make an investment, both financially and emotionally.
As human nature would have it, the more likely scenario is, once they've received free milk for an extended period of time - they're going to begin "expecting" free steaks as well - and they're NEVER going to purchase that cow.
Instead, the cow turns into a "cash cow. This profit far exceeds the amount necessary to maintain the business" The cow becomes a "cash cow" that generates unusually high profits free stuff, possibly sex and your time that far outweighs the investment zero from him necessary to maintain the continuance of receiving free stuff your time, possibly sexual favors, etc.
The reality here is that this guy is making zero investment in you dear, yet - he still receives those high profit margins of your time and possibly sexual favors. Because your time is valuable, you are valuable, your attention is valuable. If you give yourself your time away for free, no one is going to "invest" in it you later - and you're going to quickly become that "cash cow" - get what I'm saying here?
My suggestion is, take your good old time responding to this one. Mirror him, if he takes a day, you take a day, etc. If he stands you up, you're not available to him for at least a week after that if at all. Cease that immediately and cease accepting his lame date offers. If he offers a lame date, you're busy even if you're not and you refuse. And then, you offer another date that you're available 3 days later and you make a suggestion that signals to him how you expect to be treated.
You say, "Oh gee, I can't, I've already made plans. But I am available on Saturday. Maybe we could meet at the outdoor market [or along the shore, or at a park, or for a cup of coffee] or go to dinner if you'd like. I really like that. And those are men that you do NOT want to date dear.
Those are "good time guys," - but they are not husbands, lovers or boyfriend material. And if he doesn't make some sort of effort or investment on some level, then he's signaling to you that he's not WILLING to - and that's when you walk - and find a man that's going to treat you well, care for you, respect you and aim to impress you, at least in the early stages.
Because lets face it, the early stages are when everyone should be putting their best foot forward. And these lazy losers and chumps out there - are NOT putting their best foot forward and therefore, should NOT be winning your attention as a result. Never answered it in front of me. I am a married, separated woman of three months who started seeing an ex-bf.
Five years ago; we dated about a year; I broke up with him because he would not commit to me. I married; but he never married; he dated several women; one special lady of whom he claimed was suppose to be his future wife; but he denied wanting to get married for several reasons. He has been divorced over 15 yrs. He confided that he had been a "bad boy"; but wanted to change.
I felt that this meant he was willing to commit to one person.. He also told me once that he loved me and I believed that he did. But to my dismay; deja vu once again; MIA, not responding to calls nor texts, excuses one after another of why we could not get together.. A few weeks after a hot night of passion; we had a pillow talk; he explained that he was ill and needed to have surgery and wanted to know if I would be there for him to "Keep IT up!
I agreed; went to outpatient surgery against my better judgement to find out that his main lady came in the front door with him. I always felt that he was not quite being truthful. Because I am a married woman going through a divorce; I thought he was protecting me and himself by keeping our relationship on the "downlow". It took all I could to keep my composure; I was shocked that he allowed me to come there when he knew his gf was going to be there too!!
Somehow, I think she kinda knew who I was; but he probably told her some cocky mania story that I was his "friend". I never told her the whole truth for fear of exposing our fling. Anyway, my bad; I have been played. He showed me all the signs, red flags went up like the 4th of July, but I just couldn't see the forest for the trees.
I did have enough self-esteem to leave him alone; but it hurts like the dickens. He has called me twice to redeem himself. I think just to keep me hanging on when he recovers from his surgery.. I wanted to say "I hope your pecker don't work anymore! This has taught me a valuable lesson in life..
Anonymous Male, Thank you for sharing my friend. I mean no disrespect here, but I did notice that a couple statements in your comment sound a bit emotionally immature as they are very broad, general assessments that do not and will not apply to every single female on the planet.
Making statements like that about women are like women claiming that all men are players - which is simply NOT true - and also not a fair assumption. Additionally, claiming that all players do what they do because a woman broke their heart, again seems a bit of an immature assumption to me.
Many players have personality disorders and things like ego issues and insecurity that drive their behavior. To assume that every single man that does this is one who had his heart broken by a woman, again, a tad immature to assume. Things like narcissistic personality disorder, insecurities, social disorders like sociopathy, ego issues - these are all viable contributing factors to that type of behavior in both men and women.
That's like women claiming that all men always play games, which is equally untrue. Gentlemen DO exist and confident men feel no need to play such games. They don't feel the need to manipulate to win a woman's affections because they're confident that their leadership qualities and provider capabilities and personality and special ways are enough to attract women to them.
Folks who play games, men and women both, generally have very deeply rooted issues of insecurity that drives that type of behavior. Not every single man on the planet is straightforward.
Not every single human being on this planet is a cookie cutter display where everyone is the same. We're all unique and as a result, not every single individual on the planet fits under one single label like that. It's not women that cause you to play games - it's the insecurities that result from the pain of rejection that cause this behavior.
Because someone once hurt you, you now feel entitled to go around punishing others that did NOT cause you that pain? That is not how life works my friend. There is such a thing as karma - what you put out there comes back to you, three fold. So if you put negativity out into the world, then all you can ever expect to receive back is more negativity.
And if you treat others poorly, then all you can expect to receive back from those actions is being treated poorly yourself in return. Not all men are players and not all women play games. We are each unique and we do not slip easily under one label as a result. Just as there are male game players and gentlemen - there are also female game players and good women.
As a result, it's not fair to lump everyone from a particular gender under one label and it's immature to think that people are all the same like that and that it's okay to hurt and punish others for the pain that someone entirely different caused you several years or months back.
We ALL experience pain, rejection, hurt and suffering at the hands of others - both men and women. But many of us have the proper coping skills in place to deal with the ups and down that life will always throw at you without childishly enacting our revenge on everyone because we were hurt once.
Sounds to me like instead of developing a sense of self-awareness and using coping skills to properly process your emotional pain and baggage - you are avoiding developing those skills and instead - taking the easy, childish way out - by feeling entitled to hurt others because someone once hurt you.
That's no justification for hurting others. Be an adult, take responsibility for your actions, accept that people will always hurt you, disappoint you and let you down, develop the proper coping skills to deal with those ups and downs that life will always throw at you in a mature, healthy manner - and grow up.
Or - continue hurting others without cause and bringing pain back onto yourself as a result. Anonymous Male, Do a little soul searching my friend: Regarding the justification of the self-proclaimed player above, here's an interesting bit about it: His justification of his actions - in essence - actually justify the behavior of the woman who hurt him. By claiming that he's justified to treat others poorly because he himself had been hurt.
Meaning, it then suddenly becomes okay for her to have hurt him because she, herself, had most likely been hurt prior to him by another man.
So all his behavior is really doing - is justifying the actions of the woman who hurt him. By permitting himself a free pass to hurt others because he, himself, was once hurt - he has now granted the woman who hurt him - a free pass for her actions of hurting him because one could assume she was once hurt prior to him. He basically stooped to her level and in doing so - justified the pain she caused him. He can now no longer point the finger and lay blame against her because chances are, she was hurt by a man prior to him - and that caused her to hurt him - which is now justified according to his logic.
Ladies, Watch out for men who claim "we are always straight forward". So are you playing it straight? Or are you playing games?
There's a lot of conflicting, self-defeating behavior there. No one wants to spend a significant amount of time around someone that makes them feel like crap and causes them pain. And via the Law of Attraction, which states that "like attracts like," they attract equally insecure individuals to themselves, thus creating a viscious, negative, repetitive, painful dating lifestyle for themselves.
Folks, there ARE good people out there. Without a doubt, there ARE good men and women out there. You just have to filter, be very choosy, get comfortable with saying no - and find the one that's right for YOU. The one that is willing to fulfill your needs, care for you and treat your heart as something valuable and special. At all costs, men and women both, steer clear of the one's that are "out to get you" [to get over on you] and use you, simply to prove to themselves that they can - so that they feel better about themselves.
I dated someone for 3 months When I questioned him about this towards the 3 month mark Well, shortly after that conversation I sent one text msg after a week of silence Yes, it does a number on your head and took awhile for me to get over someone having the audacity to do something like this to me Exactly one year later I took days to respond I let it play out for a month After six weeks of this, he finally asked me out I wanted to hear from him in person why he disappeared His reason why he disappeared seemed far-fetched, yet still plausible.
After reading up about these disappearing guys and players I am seeing signs he is a player. So now I will leave him twisting in the wind I am not interested in being a FWB or some kind of back up girl!
Anon Dec 2 9: Then, if he for some reason is not lying , you won't have made him feel like crap And, if he is lying and is just a player, you'll know by how he reacts and responds to you or not. If he's changed, maybe you could end up having a lasting relationship with him? Sometimes I think that guys just need a little guidance and consistency which ultimates in the "much longed-for, secretly desired, outwardly-pretendedly loathed" Discipline from girls I mean, often we truly can help each other more than for what we give the others credit.
Whew, I needed this! Long story short - I grew up home-schooled and really sheltered. I am dealing with something situation with a guy that this article greatly helps. Thank you for writing Mirror! You're a genius, I think! Dear Mirror, I'm writing because I feel so lost and I am hurting. I met a man online 6 months ago, we met and we started off bad, argument on the first date.
He is an arrogant, self centered.. We ended up going out again, but became physical. We kept texting on daily basis, maybe more like sexting.
He would hardly call me or meet me in person. He said he was a very busy business person and works till very late. I'm also professional doing grad school too, so it was convenient at the time.
For 3 months he went out of town for business, and I ended the relationship. He kept texting me and convinced seduced.. I knew in my mind, it was not going to be a serious relationships, but everyday I would get good morning texts, can't stop thinking about you, can't wait to see u, until the goodnight baby He was upset that I didn't act excited when he came back, I just wanted t take it slow.
He wasn't really asking me out for dinner. We kept texting, I sent him lunch to his work, because of his long work hours. A week after he was back, and kept saying how much he wanted to see me, we met, he picked me up, and ended hanging out in his car fancy: After that night, he texted how much he loved seeing me and how much he liked me and kisses.
I never heard from him again. A week later, I decided to go to his work, to make one of his fantasies he had told me come true. He had mentioned in the past that after a certain time nobody would be there since he and his family own the place.
I went in a coat with very sexy lingerie under, and brought a dessert, I texted him several times no answer, I rang the bell.. As soon as I was pulling out of parking lot, I received an angry text that how dare I went to his office, that it wasn't our deal!
I know he used me, I now it's humiliating, I know he and his family are not good people, and I am "supposedly a very smart and strong woman", so how come I can't get over him. I try to find closure. He always said he never had someone else, and as much as it showed the opposite.. I can't move on. I have never been like this before, I am the strong person, good girl, hard worker.. I have broken up with all my ex's, and they are all in good terms with me.
Why am I hurting so much, and worse, can't stop texting him everyday, I guess seeking for answers.. The rejection and the way he has ignored me, has hurt me deeply.
So he is a player, charmer, very good looking, disappeared and reappeared.. I just want to move on, but have not been successful. Have started the no contact.. Any advice on how I can take him out of my heart, mind..
Really don't know what else to do, other than that, I have an amazing life.. I've been dating this guy for a little while now and everything is going okay, as it is I have to have a lot of faith and trust in him because it is a long distance relationship, he tells me he never wants to lose me and that I'm the only one he's ever opened up to and general things that make me feel special.
But he spins wild stories about his dad ordering 7 of the newest mustangs, ferrari's and a whole lots of other cars. Besides the tall tales he has told my sister that he likes her but can't lose me.. And there is a very strange and confusing story between him and my best friend from before I knew him..
I don't know if he's a player as such but I'm confused. Anonymous Dec 21, 1: So proceed accordingly, or pull out completely. In desperate need of advise I met this guy on a trip to America, we only spoke for 10 minutes and I obviously didn't have a US number to exchange so just gave him my facebook details and that was it, thought I'd never see him again and didn't think into it.
Anyway he added me on facebook and we started talking, then I gave him my Australian number and we began texting. Then came videos that we would send each other just asking how each others day was etc and facetiming. From such a short conversation we were now texting each other every day, as much as 40 times or more a day.
He ended up booking himself a ticket and came over to see me for 3 weeks. He said before he got here that as soon as he lands that he is my boyfriend I found it all a little strange to be honest, I am not one for rushing into things at all.. I am some what emotionally detached I guess but everything was great with us.
On the last 3 days I was missing my space and grew a little distant from him and kind of was looking forward to him leaving, despite actually really liking him I am a little odd like this. When he went back I just got this bad gut feeling. I found it weird that in 3 weeks of him being here he never posted a photo of me or mentioned me in any of his instagram photos and my friend who has twitter as I don't said that he never mentioned me on there either.
I told him that I had a funny feeling about him and something wasn't right and that I can't be bothered with this and basically said "Thankyou for being a part of my life, all the best and take care" he sent me a reply, followed by another and again a third saying he didn't want to lose me. We kind of worked it out and he still constantly texts me with good morning msg's and texts throughout the day but yesterday I mentioned to him again about how It irks me that he never mentioned me on instagram or twitter.
I am used to guys being proud of being with me and showing me off it's what you are supposed to do when you are fond of someone and with them. I told him the only reason I could see someone not wanting to do that is because I am not the only one and gave him an ultimatum to either make me known or this is the end of the road for us.
He said he completely understood where I was coming from and that he wasn't hiding me. Yet he hasn't put a photo up of us when he was here. I am not stressing at this point as it was only last night we had this discussion but I have given myself a time limit of 48 hours to see if he will put something up.
In normal circumstance it wouldn't bother me that he didn't put a photo up. I have not put a photo of him on Instagram or Facebook either Though I don't actually use them very much, I am kind of anti social networking, where as he is very much into social networking , but I have this strange feeling in my stomach that I can't trust him. If it weren't for the feeling then there wouldn't be any issues.
I hear from him constantly, I am in another country so its not like he is using me for sex, He has sent me videos when he is with his mates and they jump in the video to say hi to me, he travelled across the world to see me, we are planning to go to Mexico with his best friend and his best friends girl. He has told me that we need to figure out at some point who is going to move because we can't do this long distance thing forever etc etc so he talks and behaves like he is committed but then there's that funny feeling and It's like I know he is serious about me but how do I know there aren't other woman he has on the side to occupy himself with whilst I'm not there I don't want to be number one, I want to be the only one!
I don't know if its just me thinking into it too much because of the situation or if I have a player on my hands. Can someone please shed some light. Nadia86, "as soon as he lands that he is my boyfriend I found it all a little strange to be honest, I am not one for rushing into things at all.. I am some what emotionally detached I guess " You're not detached dear - that is odd and it should raise a red flag. Misleading a woman to believe a relationship is in store.
Do you know why? Because your gut, woman's intuition, is very rarely if ever wrong. It's a primal built in self defense mechanism and you should not dismiss it. The reason alarm bells are sounding is because of one simple thing here dear and it's something that ALWAYS gives men's true intentions away, regardless of their words: But given the fact that he is, this does seem worth taking note of.
This man's a virtual stranger honestly. Three weeks is NOT enough to know someone inside and out, through good times and bad, how they handle stress and disappointment, how responsible they are, how many women are in his life, etc. The only way you're going to know if this man is genuine or not - is to spend more time getting to know him over the course of a lengthy period. I don't know how long you were speaking prior to meeting, but it should be a considerable amount of time spent observing prior to swallowing what he's spoon feeding you, ya' know?
If your guts rumbling dear - do NOT dismiss it. Humans have more nerves in our guts than in our spinal chords. Thank you so much for your reply. I am still very much confused. I have been told before in the past that I am too independent and therefor I look for anything and everything to run from a relationship so that I can have my freedom to travel and spend time with my friends etc.
I wonder if this is perhaps the case. I have noticed that he rarely uses social media now, he facetimes me nearly every night and even calls when he is out with his friends and they jump on the phone to say hi etc.
He wants me to go over to see him in March and meet his family and to be honest even though this is typically what every girl wants, that kind of commitment, I still find myself trying to flee from the situation. I like him but then I wonder if its truly that or more a case of me getting excitement out of this situation that I like.
There are times when I feel that he is much more invested in this than I am and then times where my intuition is telling me something is not right. In normal circumstance I wouldn't worry myself with concerns about a guy, I would usually just go with the flow and see where it takes me but in this case with the amount of time, effort and money that is going into us trying to make whatever this is work, it is playing on my mind that its just too much for me to be bothered with.
Thank you so much for your advise, it is much appreciated. There's this guy who has been a very good friend. We've been friends for probably over 3 to 4 years and we trust each other. A few months ago, he started being very flirtatious and hinting that he wants to start a relationship. However, he does that with many other girls as well.
But at the end of the day, he always comes back and tells me I'm the one he wants to be with and unfortunately, I did fall for him and has hinted it back although he never really did anything.
Recently, he found a girl that he's crazy for and well i guess I'm happy for him? However she turned him down. Of course, I welcomed him back with open arms and he began hinting that he wanted to be with me. The only problem is that he brings her up so often that I feel insecure! Not only that, he asks other girls "would you date me? I feel like he's trying to find love but everyday just realises that I'm the one he wants to be with or so he says , but I'm worried that he's just toying with my emotions!
But I believe I may have really fallen for him! What should I do? Confused Gal, "he started being very flirtatious and hinting that he wants to start a relationship" Hinting that he wanted to settle down into an actual relationship, or hinting that he was interested in starting a sexual one? Because they're two different things, ya' know? And he can prove that by being consistent, reliable and stable in his behavior, which unfortunately right now - he's not.
And that signals that he's not "relationship ready" dear. He thinks he wants a relationship, but he's not acting like he's stable enough to truly invest in one properly. Because to do that, you need to be consistent, reliable, stable, trustworthy and you have to be willing to compromise and show compassion, and you need to be willing to fulfill your partners needs by being supportive and encouraging not by throwing other women in your face or asking other women if they'd date him.
If he doesn't prove to you that he's ready through all the things I've listed above, then you don't have to do anything dear, but keep living your life and moving forward: And if he continues to behave in an unstable manner, then you know he's not ready dear, he's not mature enough and he's not relationship material at this time. Hi MOA, I'm definitely involved with a player I became a booty call, friend w benefits.
He looked at me, grinned and said "Don't be jealous I have admirers". The following day I called him out on all his bullshit and poor treatment and told him we can no longer be friends, we were never friends. My true friends don't treat me like crap and leave me second guessing my self and everything. He threw it all back in my face and blamed me for his "disappearing". Twenty four hours later he's on a dating website and befriending a dozen new girls on Facebook.
Thank you very much for that eye opener points. The guy told me he separated with his wife and he has been living with his son. He immediately started to call me "sweetheart," which I found to be a total turn-off. He pursued me off and on for 2 years, and I always refused.
Then last fall, the full-court press, just as I was moving away from the city. This guy treats women really well on the surface: Gut always told me that there were other something women he was hitting on especially divorced with no kids at home. He was always having dinner with "clients" or spending weekends unavailable by phone - "no cell service with his elderly parents.
Always taking bathroom breaks during dinners out with his cell phone and taking longer than anyone should take for a pit stop. He would arrange thoughtful romantic weekends together a month in advance -- with no in-between. Initially I kept saying "you are rushing things. Well, worlds collide and eventually through a fluke I found out that he has one woman not me whom he considers his "girlfriend" and probably several more like me in the rotation. He picks the vulnerable divorced women in their 50s, gives good passion and courting, but has zero interest in their emotions.
OK, so now I get it and he is a total player. Still uses the sweetheart bit, and dangles future plans far in the distance, never answers a phone call in my presence, blah blah blah. I do not know her -- he makes sure that his current targets don't have overlapping communities. He was hitting on me at the same time he was taking her out for NYE, visited me just before Valentine's Day evidently so that he could be with her then told me he had to "be away for Valentine's".
But I see who she is on his FB page not that he says he's in a relationship with her -- god forbid for a player. No, they just have a shared cover photo of a romantic seaside sunset. A player's version of "commitment.
Should I message her? Thanks for your input. Anonymous Mar 23, 8: One is "no drama" and the other is I think creating drama backfires on us, but I also think a woman has a right to know when she's being snowed. But I'd also be concerned about IS she really being snowed?
Meaning, maybe they have an open relationship? Maybe they're just casually dating? Maybe that's a family member or a friend of the family of some sort or maybe they're just friends? That's the thing - you just don't know for sure Or do you? Honestly dear, I'm not sure about this one. But what I am sure about is that you should obviously cease seeing this man immediately. Sorry I'm not of much assistance when it comes to these situations, this is touchy ground, ya' know?
I'm in a situation right now that I think I am dealing with a player and I am done with him but want further advice about how to deal with him.
The 1st red flag about him is that he has almost no guy friends. Some people have even called him gay. He has all girl friends and is always talking to different ones at any given time. I thought that he cared more about me since we have been hanging out at school for months now everyday and also texting using Face Time a lot.
A few weeks ago, it was spring break and we talked everyday for hours at a time and even hung out a few times. We are both active on Instagram users and he comments all the time on girls photos and is following tons of girls. We took some pictures while on spring break together and everybody said, "are you dating? And he even put on a comment "why are we always together anyway? Anyway, while on spring break, a girl that he was following followed me and it turned out that he was talking to her on her pictures asking for her number and then she said "we should hang out".
When we got back from spring break, he posted a picture with this girl and she commented "my better half" and he said "love you". Then he commented on another one of her pictures, "It has only been 4 hours and I miss you already". Then he calls me and I am annoyed and say I have to go and cannot talk. So at school, he doesn't sit with me anymore and has been hanging out with different girls. This week has been terrible.
He starts posting pictures on Instagram and takes the one off with the comments that he put "love you" and reposts it without the comments. Then he posts another one saying that he missed his old friends and hates his life.
Then he posts another one with him and a new group of girls. He said "hi" to me and I just ignored him. Then last night he tries Face Timing me 7 times and I don't pick up but finally call him back and he says "Sorry, Face Time is acting weird" What? Was he messing with me and saying that he didn't really want to call? Then this morning he posts another picture with yet another girl and it says. Why would he do this again?
I don't understand how somebody could be so uncaring and cruel since he told me I was his "best friend" and I wasn't the one who did anything wrong here. Give me some insight on how to deal with this jerk going forward as I have to see him at school and should I even talk to him if he calls again or what would I even say?
A part of me really wants to tell my " best friend" how pissed off I am at him. Or should I just go about ignoring him completely? Anonymous Apr 3, 3: That's the same as saying, "Give me some advice on how to tolerate him. Why tolerate him at all ya' know? When a man makes you feel bad about yourself, makes you doubt yourself, makes you question things, etc.
Nothing you do or say is going to change him - so if you don't want more of it, you're better off just getting away from him dear. Dear Mirror, first I should say sorry for my English lol and thank you for your blog.. I'm writing because I feel so lost and upset I have been with my ex bf for 3 years on and off.. I just found out he has been living with his ex gf since he sold the house not with his mom..
I got very angry and confront him via text.. I didnt respond at all.. I was kind of seeing this guy for about one month. He went out of town after we finally had sex. While he was gone.. If I got a txt from him.. And if i tried to respond back.. I either got a two word response back.. I didn't initiate txting. That was all him.. I started getting this odd feeling that maybe he was with another girl on this trip.
Then the txts dwindled from him completely. When he was back I tried to plan a time to hang out which he used to love.. He'd respond several hours later.. The enthusiasm was totally gone. I sent a final txt after not hearing from him again for a few days.. I said that it seems like he doesn't have time for whatever reason, and that I'm giving him space.
Then wished him well. He wrote back immediately. Said he'd lost a friend and he's still processing it and very anti social. But he wanted to get together and catch up.. I set up a dinner.. He was very lacking of enthusiasm giving one word responses in txting to confirm plans.
We met up and he kept talking flirty and sexual to me.. And in a huge hurry to leave.. He actually sped off snd left me in a parking lot alone. I txt him later and said I could tell he's not feeling it and wished him the best.
He responded with a long thank you. Like i was so awesome for going away. Was I dealing with a player? The whole time we hung out before.. He was always so excited and wanted to make plans for our next date while still out together. I am sorry for the loss of his friend.. Excited about where this was going and then acting like I'm bugging him when my behavior never changed. I'd love your thoughts. Anonymous May 8, 1: Don't ever speak to him again, don't ever respond to his texts and move on with your life as if you could care less and just Exes who cheat and many other exes as well can't stand to see their ex happy without them.
It bothers them deeply when they see the other person is unaffected, happy, not depressed, not speaking to them and simply doing great and having fun without them. It eats them to the core dear, trust me. My ex husband cheated and for years, literally years, when it was clear I was immediately moving on and leaving him in the dust after finding out - and I was doing well, I was happy and life went on without him He would try to call, he would have his mother try to call, he would bad mouth me He even said to me, "I don't know why you always have to be such a bitch.
Other women go through this cheating , and they don't throw away their marriages over it. He actually thought he was so special that I'd give up my happiness just to cling to him like a wet paper towel. His ego was dashed and he got a rude awakening when that didn't happen, he realized then that he wasn't as special as his ego would have him believe Again dear, the best revenge - is doing well: M, "when we did sleep together he had a new toothbrush for me to use" Yea, big red flag there.
Even hotels don't give out new toothbrushes LOL. He must've had a revolving door on his place for him to be thinking ahead like that. I agree with you here, I think this guy was away with another woman and when he came back, he took to spending more time with her, which was the reason he was spending less time with you.
And chances are, once he's done with her, he'll circle back around to you Guys like this are pretty predictable. I just wanted to put my experience out there. I met this guy on an online dating website. We went on a date and hit it off really well and man did I fall hard for this guy! We had sex on the second date since we were so physically attracted to each other.
He made me feel special in so many different ways.. But in the back of my mind, I had a gut feeling that this was too good to be true. Comes to find out my gut instinct was right! I called him out on it and he told me the typical "i'm going to change for you, you're the only one i want" bull shit that I fell for time and time again. I was that girl who gave him so many chances for him to change because I wanted to be that "good" girl who changes a player.. But you can't fix broken.
We dated for a couple more months until he broke it off with me because he couldn't stay "committed" to me and that he wanted to focus on "himself and his career" - typical breakup line. I knew once he said that, that he was going to go back to his old ways. He blocked me on facebook so he wouldn't let me see the numbers of girls he added as well. About a month later with absolutely no contact, he texted me saying he wants to give me my stuff back from his old apartment since he moved to a new condo.
I replied and told him i'd get it from him once I had the time. About a week later, I went to his place and got my stuff. We chatted for a bit and he started acting flirty and sexual again To my fault, of course I gave into it.
We acted like we were a couple again that night and once I left, he said he'd text me later. Of course, he never texted me back. He already got what he wanted which was to get in my pants. I felt disgusted, hurt, and used and it was sooo stupid for me to fall back into this vicious cycle again. So two days ago, I went to his place and gave him his stuff back. Of course I tried to look sexy and great at the same time so he knew what he was missing out on! He ended up kissing and stuff but I stopped and never gave in after that.
After while she started being mean towards me. And then in class about a month later my bff for life told me some news that I didnt want to hear. That the so called friend that I trusted fully was now dating my crush. When I was around him he was nice and super goofy… alot weirder than normal for him… and would laugh at my corniest jokes.
This year we dont talk but sometimes I look over at the lunch table he sits at and he is staring. This may be a coincidence but do you think so? Also if it isnt just a coincidence then how do I walk up to him and talk without being totally awkward in every way possible? So I would always push him away. But we were always close like we would tell each other every abd just be completely honest with each other. We were always with each other….
Never felt anything for anybody else. Never loved anybody else but him. Hes always been the kind of popular one in a sense. We stayed like that for the rest of the film. During the week he came over same thing his arm under and around my waist but he started playing with my hair. A little later on in the week we started watching another film this time he wrapped his arm under and around my waist and held my hand and my neck was exposed and I felt him gently kiss it it felt really good so I just let him do his thing same thing for the next month or two.
A week later he came round my house watched another film same thing kissing my neck but this time he moved his body and his face so he was moving closer to my lips I guess he wanted to kiss me. I never kissed a boy before so I guess I was nervous. Over the period of a few months whenever we was alone in each others houses it would be the same kissing and tongues. But it got a little more heated as he would touch my bum squeeze it and all of that and all of that. Please respond, its really driving me nuts, what kind of signals is he giving me?
I have been seeing a coworker a guy secretivly, no one knows about this relantionship. This is over a 6 month period of time. Always ended up with him calling me babe, and other cute names. Then it goes to no texting at all, we still are civil to one another at work, to him eventally texting me about something, tv shows movies, songs or just any kind of convo just to see if i will respond.
He never talks about any other girls, he talks me about his family but we dont have that kind of relationship that we want to or are even anywhere close to meeting a family member or even one of his friends? He seems like he is into me and then backs off and then always finds a reason to text me, but just doesnt give my any kind of signal to whether he likes me enough or not?? Can you please respond, its driving me nuts, i have read all your things about if he is into you or not, or am i driving him away I have read all of them and he fits some of the categories and then he does not, most of those questions seem to not fit the sceerio?
I have been talking to this guy for about 5 months no dating, we hang out like week and go on dates. The things that is killing me he will say nice words to me and make me feel happy, ask me if I am ready to be his lady! Then when we see each other in couple days he hugging and kissing on me. I went through this whole list and the guy that I am talking to does not do any of these signs to show me he is not into me. But he has gotten really busy lately. But he hardly contacts and I text and call him first almost everyday.
I would like some advice on two things. I have two classes with this one guy and I think he is really cute. He seems fun to be around and nice to. But I want to get to know him as I said. How do I do that…. I always freeze up and am either awkward or weird. Sadies is in 2 weeks. I have thought about who I am asking and all the guys in my school are either taken or something I really do not want to be around. But now that I think of it there is this nice guy, he is a little bit of a stretch to ask because we are just friends but not as like close friends so.
Well if u understand what I am saying thanks. Our relationship is great but I cant help but feel like he still misses his ex. He gets really defensive when I try and ask what happened between them. And all I know is that she broke up with him and he was devastated after the break up. Early on in the relationship he was stalking his ex and his ex-crush on fb.
Does he love me or m I just a re bound that got out of control? Hey I just had a question, just some advice to do the right thing, I live in Vegas and I work at a station casino, there this security guard I been eyeing for the past few months, I told myself not to tell him that I liked him but on the other hand I thought take a risk and see what happens, its been a long time since I found a guy that I actually like.
He stares at me at work, but like in the smoking section when it just 2 of us left and everybody else is leaving he leaves with rest of the group there has to be something that I said or Idk what todo at this point, Should I just stay away? Well you should end the friendship if he likes someone else he has no right to force you to be his friend you do have a right to reject his friendship.
At Christmas party, my ex boyfriend follows me in my space talking with friends, I caught him across the room walking along with me, I went to the dessert table to cut the pies, he was behind me at the food line at the same time. What is he decoding? Is he trying to drive me crazy this person is a ex friend he told me he did not want anything to do with me when I felt things were moving too quick.
Last year, after much deliberation, I moved to a new city to be with my boyfriend. The move was okay but I soon realised that I missed my old job, friends, and the sense distaordom. Our relationship went from being amazing to almost always being irritated with each other. I was always so carefree and fun and now I feel bogged down, surly, vindictive, jealous of his relationships with others. I dont want to be like this anymore.
I want to be my old self. He too has become distant, critical of a lot of my traits and things I do or say. I always have my guard up. What can I do to get out of this rut, go back to my former self? He has his faults too but right now I just want to know how I can be happy.
I been in a relationship for 6year and he left bout two weeks ago when I text him he want respond on right then. Thank you for being there answering my question. There was this guy that i got acquainted with via my manager. He was his friend. Then on a start of a new project he decides to cooperate with our manager and be one of the investors. He gave me some kind of trying-to-hide looks while i was among my other girlfriends and I returned back some of his look the way he looked at me without trying to be flirting.
Then he came to our company for some construction changes as he is a building designer and while I was talking to my manager he reached us and stand totally in front me and directly toward me and stared at me while talking to our manager. As he was there for some days, he did the following just to me and not to my other girl colleagues as they themselves told me he is so indifferent to them: He talked to me about the person on the phone and said that she talks too much!!
He had his cellphone on speaker mode when he reached me and that girl was continuesly talking about some business issues. He greeted me differently and with smiles and i smiled at him in return. He completely avoided eye contact with me and talked to me only if it was necessary. I had definitely no idea what was going on. The day after we had a business meeting in which he and I attended and others as well. In the end, I took the plunge, I somehow told him I liked him and told me that he was just friendly and he meant nothing at all.
And I said ok, maybe I was wrong. Some day after he text a greeting message to me and i answered the same way. Later I sent him an infographic picture and he asked me if I knew a good doctor for hair loss problem and talked to me about his problem and I listened to him and I gave him some advice but he stopped texting after 45 minutes of texting without saying goodbye or thank you.
Another night he ended up saying this sentence: There is no game for us! Just your imaginations to which i answered: You made it clear to me once and I have a good memory, sir. I have no idea about his behavior. Thank you, in advance, for your advice. I want him back as I do still love him and cant just cut my feelings off from him, what would you advise me to do? How u know if a guy likes u. I like this guy alot. He hardly texts me we spend four nights a week togethet when he is not out of town working.
He wont talk or see other females. He said he likes me more than a friend. He also said he wants to see where things go between us. He knows of my past so am i just being perinoid he dont like me or do i need to relax cause he does like me. Please need some advice. We really do like each other and he is so amazing. Just want to know his true feelings about me is all. I have a question, i know the texting is weird u said. But he hasnt been texting me first in a while and i always have to text him first.
Is this texting thing a problem or is it just another guy thing? And if it is another guy thing will he get annoyed and think im too attached to him if i txt him first. Well practically all of these things u daid were opposite, so does that means he likes me?
My friend thinks he likes me and I do too. But then I get this doubt like im just self centered and he dosent actually like me. We met at work a few years ago where he ironically dated and met his ex to.
She left him and moved on quick. On the other hand.. I am the first serious relationship my boyfriend has been in since that breakup. And how miserable he was after the breakup and how he became a drinker afterwards.
Oh and even better…I found him stalking her on Facebook almost daily very recently. I know he loves me. But is it normal that I feel super uncomfortable and insecure about this? So pay attention to your feelings.
Anxiety is caused by a conflict between what a person says, and what they really feel, and we pick up that conflict by the nonverbal clues, and our anxiety results. I have just return to the dating scene and it has been 10 years reason taking care of parents. I learned relationship are hard all kinds of situation out there are crazy to many rules.
I am learning a lot about guys and how to handle things. I feel I have to say thank you. I met this guy three months ago. At first he was pretty aggressive and I told him I wanted to take things slow. He was fine with that. Our first date was at a party I went and he met me there. We had a good time and plenty of time to talk. Next day he called and we met again. We went to three get togethers together. All three at my friends places. We went to few walks at the park and all these are my invitations.
He has spent 6 to 8 nights at my place. I have a 9 years old son, so when my son is not with me I say it is OK for him to spend the night. He says he cares about me often. Not sure what that means. He says he wants to continue a relationship with me, but I am thinking what relationship am I in here? He is legally separated and his ex-wife lives in the bottom floor apartment and he lives on the second floor. They have a two family home. I have introduced him to my friends and invited him to events and engaged him on things I do with my friends.
He has never invited me out to do anything. He has not taking me out for dinner or not even coffee. When he is with me he gives me his full attention and is a real gentleman, but he told me he has a lots of friends from his work and he goes to parties and he will not bring me because some of his friends are married and their wives knows his ex-wife and he does not want the word to go to his ex that he is with a girlfriend. Last week we were talking on the phone and he told me I need to concentrate all my free time on my son.
That I want to have a social life and go out with my friends and I should be a full time mother and not a part time mother. I went to Florida for a weekend as a girls only weekend, and also went to a friends evening dinner two weekends ago and that I want to have a social life and am not giving my extra time to my son. I told him is not the case. I take Martial arts classes with my son and for the past two weekends I have not gone because I hurt my back and am not feeling good enough to return to the classes.
He told me even If I don;t take the classes I can sit in and watch or be there to pick him up and have lucy ready or so for my son. Now, to clear this, martial arts is something that I do with my son and his father.
So I asked him if he was saying all these because1- he cares about me and my child? I have not seeing him since Saturday, October 17th. He went to a dinner party with me and stayed over my place and left early Sunday to work.
He did text and called me but never mentioned my birthday. It was around 11;30PM when I spoke with him last, and during our conversation he asked where did I go and I said my son had taking me out to celebrate. I did not say celebrate what and that is when he said, OH I am sorry, I forgot your birthday. I can take you out for dinner some other time, since you were busy this weekend anyways.
I did remember two days ago , but i forgot today. I did not put on the calendar because than would go on for every year and I did not want that to show up since my ex can see my work calendar. Was after that, that he started with this conversation of me spending all my free time with my son. He said he is not a selfish ass that wants me to spend all my free time with him and not spend time with my child.
Believe me when I tell you I spend most of my time with my child, specially on weekdays. I am not sure what kind of relationship he wants here.
He also mentioned yesterday that who knows,, maybe I meet someone on the corner and I will fall completely in love with this person and call him up and end it all with him, or maybe that can happen to him too. So I am on the other end of the line thinking, WTF? I am not understanding what is that he wants and what am I to him. He says I would not spend two hours on the phone talking with you If I did not like you. I really enjoy my time with you and we do have a physical and emotional connection.
Yet, he has never invited me out. He does not have a place for us to go, he comes to my house. I just feel right now that to him it does not matter if I stay or if I go.
Can anyone give some in sites here? This guy is not interested in you at all. Ok so my boyfriend who is also the biological father of my 2 year old son was texting a girl I went to school with flirting and telling her he will single I caught him doing this twice and the first time he said he did it because he was jealous that my ex had messaged me.. The second time he said he did it because he was testing me to see if I would leave him.
A few years ago we net and basically fell for each other pretty fast n I ended up leaving him because he got into drugs really bad and I was pregnant at the time. We have been doing great untill all of a sudden he withdrew himself emotionally and physically out of the blue.
I kept blaming myself thinking I did something wrong but turns out he was talking to the other girl. I am in a very unorthodox relationship at a distance of which I am told that he is staying up wearing himself out just to spend time with me.
I have made it a point to say goodnight early, but I know for a fact that he is not spending that time with me. We spend minutes together in that a day and it is because I engage him most of the time. He stays up to work yet I get the blamed his for losing sleep etc. We spend less and less time with each other now.
I have seen needy women demand and get lots of time from a men yet still complain, but that is not the case here. If there is less time spent together then it would be safe to say that he ditched the relationship. I am not sure how to handle this since he claims he loves me madly and has waited for me so long yet the actions are clearly otherwise. I do not want to be drastic or create drama, but clearly he does not want this relationship right now or he would not use me as the thorn in the side when he applies time elsewhere.
I have been supportive for a couple of years of doing this now. Always too busy for me. Why would be claim that he loves me more than anything and has waited so long for me yet blame me for wearing himself out when it is clearly not due to time spent with me? His line of work is Clandestine, so this is making it even more complicated. I have no idea what he does at all. I need need a wake up call or sound advice.
I met this guy in my neighborhood. He started doing some work for me and was getting paid. He offered to help me out with additional handy man stuff for free.
At first he was distant and did not talk much. He works three jobs and has three kids so his time is limited. He will make time to help me with whatever I need. Our conversations are limited. He came to help one night and we were intimate. He has respected those wishes and keeps me at arms length.
For the last two weeks he has called almost every night a nod we talk for hours. He has not mentioned wanting to have sex again. But, he makes sure he tells me he does not want to be in a relationship. I need to move on. I also see him updating Facebook statuses saying he is not looking for love and always calling girls bitches. I really like him a lot and would like him to be my boyfriend. I need help please. He teases me a lot and say some mean stuffs or say that am a child but I know its just for fun..
I never get mad for that. But I know that the fact that I am underage is a problem for him.. Yesterday I tried confessing to him but indirectly.. What should I do? We like each othwr and that is obvious and I know that because of past relationship is hard to trust again.
But he is always around, always texting and we even met each othwr kids in a really casual way. Is hard for me not to think a lot about where this is going, my past experience was horrible and this person is so amazing. I can wait and see but how about I wait until he feels sure enough of his feelings and is not the same as me, is just frustrating sometimes. He make plans with me about future places to go and things to do, but still I need to know a little bit more about where this is going. The longest relationship for either of us.
He turns 40this week and im a few years older. Although he has shown love the first years but never talks his feelings.
The past year im tired of his lack of help financial and otherwise in the house. We moved in together after a year of dating and being together every day. He barely helps with bills and doesnt do housework. I tell him Im unhappy and made plans to leave a few months ago. Im gettin fed up but then i see hes texting and flirting! I get so jealous now i want to make it work- all because im in competition?
Now im sad and confused. I discovered a heart problem and was in hospital. Should i just go, move on and leave him in this apartment to take care of alone? The little things are gone. Thank you I missed you…conversations seem like I annoy him. Has he lost love for me? Cut your losses, learn from mistakes. I still wish him all the happiness in the world.
This life is so meaningless. Why did I meet the perfect man if it is solely to see him ignore me? If you want meaning, consider being a Theist via a personal relationship with God. Stop trying to make a man happy by jumping through all these hoops. Nothing wrong with improving your health, but do it for you because you want to. Everything rolls from there. After all taking all the quizzes and pass proclaming his love and liking me no question then all of a sudden after 5 yrs he said we do not have a future , I could not understand just told him well end it that way you have said enough I was so hurt , that situation I was not prepared pls advise.
Keep your boundaries firmly in place. Learn from the mistakes, and move on. Look around online for other advice and support. I have been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks, it was going well. He left for a vacation two weeks ago and he had texted me few hours before he had left for his vacation that was his last text.
Most of the times, he initiates the text. Should I text him or does this mean he is no longer into me? Yeah, just text him. Maybe he lost his phone, etc. Give him the benefit of the doubt. All the love he showed me the first year I thought he was the one. I used to get texts and phone calls. Now I am lucky to get one text if that. He says he loves me and wants to be with me still, but he changed. He gets mad easley. He used to compliment me a lot saying how hot sexy beautiful ect.
Now is yeah that looks ok. My self esteem feel. Talks to me like a friend. Always on the phone, gets mad if I ask him what he is doing, were he is at, and when he is coming home. I should get off his ass and everything will be ok. I am like ahh no.
Get your own place. Concentrate on raising your son. The rest is not a priority…and this guy used you because you gave him everything without putting up boundaries that would make him want to take you off the market. He may come around after you move out, but it would probably be just for sex. I would like to ask.. I met the guy online and we went out movie and dinner once 2 weeks ago.
He sent me message.. I thought he was not interested in me, as he didnt ask me out again, then I texted him to say, if we couldnt be more than fds, Im ok to be friends.
Do you really love him? Work on a better you and explore what life has to offer. You never know, you may find someone else who is ready to give you his love now. Hi Joey, I would like to know if this man really likes me, we met from a dating site last sept, i am from Phils and he is from US then we met last april He stayed here for 20days but i ddnt sleep with him in hotel which is i think its not necessary for first time meeting.
When we are in chat session he is always being nice even we exchanging presents. Then we meet, The problem is he always drunk, he always making dramas about his family, he doin trouble and out of control.. And i saw of his emails and messages he flirting also other girls in chat which hurts me and he said thats only for friends and he chose me! So in my part i gave benefit of doubts if he just using me or playing me..
So i didnt give a sex even he likes that makes him frustrated because he thinks he spend money going here then i ddnt give any.. Then i also lend our car with him but he just ddnt clean and lots of trash before he left back in US.. Then still until now continuing communication but we dont have any commitment.
He telling me he loves me he has a plan for us and believe him and he wants to be his rock. Then i saw an fb page where he likes he is dating site for interracial so i frank him if he just playing me stop im not one of those girls if he likes a game. I didnt do anything bad at him and my intention were pure.. Then he said to me its only a page im so paranoid he loves me and will never let me go..
But until now we are like this, its so hard.. I feels like he just playing my emotions tho we have a picture together on his facebook but i dont know his passwords.. Makes me feel sad i have been nice why he just dont be frank that he isnt interested with me!!! So this guy is: Out of control 4. Sex first, values second 5. Female attention seeker 6. So I read these articles everyday, looking for advice. My guy and I talk every day… text mostly. But he always seems to be too busy to see me in person.
So I fill my time with friends and stay busy with my own life. But it frustrates me because I want to see him more. I want to be more of a priority in his life. But what if HE is the one initiating that stuff and making comments about moving in, getting married, and having a family eventually. Now, all of a sudden, he has backed off a little and says he has a lot on his mind. I am trying not to be needy and to give him his space. Do I kick him to the curb, move on, be patient with him, see where things go, etc.
Life is serious now and I need him in or out, but giving a guy an ultimatum like that only pushes them away. I dunno, but when I was in a relationship, I would turn to my girlfriend for support when I was stressed about something.
He is really handsome and he tried to initiate contact with me whole night, talking with me, teasing me around and we ended up kissing on the dance floor. When he gets drunk he eases up a little bit and tends to be closer to me. Last time we saw each other he was acting super weird.
He acts totally differently around every other girl but ME, he treats them normally but when it comes to me he has trouble speaking, he gets all nervous and stiff.. Maybe he likes you, or else why would he be nervous? Its possible he feels bad about that one night stand. Dating is really the only way to get to know someone. Comfort sometimes comes right from the get-go, but it also can come over time. Communicate with him about your feelings, or get away from him.
So recently I gave him my number. Cause he tried to talk to me and apparently was looking for me a lot the other day. But I didnt say hay back to him at one point during the day by accident ever since then hes avoided me. I guess i made him upset or feel awkward.. Sucks cause I would like to at least be friends. I feel like i should go up and talk to him about it but i dont want to make it worse.. Over the past few months I started talking to this guy.
We talked to eachother last year but we had a falling out. After 2 months of us just talking and hanging out he says that he has feelings for me.
I had grown feelings for him so I told him how I felt. But I am afraid of getting in a relationship because he is in a love triangle. But I am afraid that she will come back into his life and snatch him away. After many hardships in life I dint take much interest in being close to somebody. Kindly help me out through this situation. So this guy talked to me a bunch, and we always kind of went back and forth on texting first, and once even stayed up till 2 in the morning just chatting.
He invited me to hang out with him at the library and we watched some short videos and stuff for like an hour and I was really getting the impression he was into me. So things continue like normal after that but he still does things that are really confusing me. Like one night we were texting and I noticed it was 9: Also, I think he likes my best friend.
Which is totally heart breaking. Is it worth it or should I just move on? PS idk if I can move on…. You can and probably should move on. Many times, a crush is the result of seeing things in someone that you lack in yourself but really want to have. Ask yourself why you like this guy so much. What about him do you see that you lack in yourself? Girls have subtle ways of doing this…find out what they are and do them!
Perhaps even touch his arm when he flirts with you, etc. I jave a huge crush on my best friend. That day I wanted to know if he cares or not so I cut in front of him n he goot really sad.. I need some advice. We always look at eachother and smile in the gym, he started initiating short conversation before I left the gym. I caught him staring at me while I was sorting out my weights until I looked up and we both smiled at eachother quite cheesily.
He was in the room quite abit and I think? Anyway, that same day, he came over to me and sat right next to me while I was training. He initiated conversation, it was really flirty and we both were laughing, he kept asking me questions about my job, training, family etc. It ended up us arranging doing something together and so we exchanged numbers.
He text me about half an hour later, it was flirty but his texts were every few hours. We text all of that evening and then the conversation just stopped. What does this mean? Alice — how long has it been since he sent you a text? I had the same thing happen to me with a girl i liked that worked at the gym I go to also.
We had the same vibe going for a while, after several months I asked if she wanted to go to a local minor league baseball game with me I had extra tickets , she was excited and interested, said yes. We emailed a few times about which game to go to, she liked a friday game, so we were going with that.
Then two days later, she completely cut off all communication with me. About every day or two I would contact her to confirm the date, but she never responded. I never understood why she would agree to a date, then cut off all communication, but it is what it is.
Its strange how people can act. Just check in with him from time to time, remind him of your interest to go on a date, etc. He was staring at me as I went to leave and we both kind of walked towards each other, we just had a friendly conversation with a little bit of teasing. Please someone help me.. He told me that he really likes me and loves me around but doenst want a relationship.
I am fine with that honestly and told him that. He keeps on repeating himself about the not wanting a relationship and im at the point that i dont respond because i get it!! I also found him on a datigsite through my best friend.
I wont take it to heavely because i know.. This guy is all over the place emotionally. Focus on other things, other activities, and other possible guys. Reena — You cut yourself in front of him?? If so, you may have more important issues to deal with than with a boy from school. You probably creeped him out, but he seems to care about you genuinely. Focus on improving your mental and physical health first.
Get into more positive groups, music, books, etc. You deserve better for yourself. Free yourself of that. I cut on purpose to see whether he cares he really does.. Cutting to make him show he cares is called manipulation. I am friends with this big group at school.
My other friends said that we would make a cute couple and that he so liked me back. Everything was awesome until we were messaging each other one night, when I told him I liked him.
That afternoon I asked if we could talk over message again and he said he took it too far and we could be friends again. Some of his friends have no idea what is going on and I just need to know what I should do and what I should say and he is sending mixed messages as to whether he likes me or not. You both are young, and he probably has no idea how to deal with this yet. Keep yourself light-hearted about it. Things may simmer down in a little while. Perhaps even find guys outside your circle at school, maybe even outside the school completely.
Whether its through meetup, church, sports, book groups, etc. Everything was going great ,until 2 weeks ago. I was getting off from work and he called me to ask if I was hungry. He then asked if I was going to his house and I said yes. I was starting to go crazy ,so I left because I have been needing to get me some summer clothes for the next day anyway.. Well after another hour he finally text me saying he was cow chasing and be be here in a min.. What do I do??????? I have really started liking him very much.
But he says he is looking for a girlfriend. He is often in the dilemma to how to make a girlfriend. He says that he feels lonely because of that. So i met a guy during my final semester of college and we became really good friends, i gradually started liking him and we became closer and closer.
Now we talk everyday, know everythjng about each other and are comfortable with saying anything. He says he likes me but doesnt want a relationship because it brings alot of drama but he always mentions how theres noone else like me in his life.
He doesnt talk to anyone else like he does to me, i am sure of that. Problem is the whole 2 yrs we been talking, weve only met up twice and its more of a friendly casual thing. He never mentions hanging out or meeting up and it scares me. Is he using me for my time or is he genuine and cares about me and really wants to take this far?
He is a very shy guy and is very genuine his not a player of any sort. Really respected and honest. Anyone has any advice? It would be greatly appreciated. Some guys show more than others…but how in the world did the two of you end up together then?? Affection comes naturally from a loving heart. It may not have anything to do with you at all. Inject some positive energy into the relationship, and encourage him constantly. Notice the good things he does, even in his failures. Compliment him, and expect nothing in return.
Read positive, encouraging material. Find ways to make a difference. The tide will turn in your own life — and may infect others near you as well. Also, you could enlist some help, maybe his family, best friends, professional counselors, etc. Others a man that has been coming in to where I work for almost a year. He started giving hugs the second time he came. All the while telling me how beautiful, sexy, etc.. About 6 months later he started missing me on the cheek or forehead before he left.
Last summer I gave him my phone number so he could send me a picture. He would call me at various times around the clock just to let me know where he was. Now, he goes MIA a Lot! I finally decided it was time to start seeing him when we can in January.
We both work out and we live in different towns. As a guy i say one thing.. Do something cute, if he is attentive then he likes you, if he thinks your a idiot then move on… Simple! Plus it is not fun when someone thinks your a idiot and your not one. Let him have his hot girl who he thinks is a genius but is not one.
What do i do? Do i tell him or what untill they brake up? Life is so hard when it comes to this because hd is the only guy i truly like but hes dating the most cutes stylish and popularest girl so i guess i should give up and backk off there relationship. Unfortunately, it may feel like it would be a good thing to get that off your chest to him. Unfortunately that only really happens in fantasy and movies. Yes, she will get mad.
You will be interfering. She will probably tell her friends, and her friends may even harass or bully you for it. This happened to me when I was in school and did the same thing as you are thinking of doing. Either wait until they break up, and try to get close to him. Or move on and find someone else that takes your interest.
We became best friends and did a talent show together. X was really nice about it and even helped me arrange to go to the cinema and my crush she is going to come to back me up.
After that I felt happy but really shaky and scared. So I tell the guy I like him I said: I sit there waiting for 2 hours and no reply my best friend x just suddenly dissapeared and I am really upset. She might blocked me or deleted her account. Feeling horrible right now???? You need to calm down. Just Try to relax and remember that you will grow into yourself one day but if you label yourself then you will grow into your labels.
A girl met a guy on net.. Ever since he texts me almost every day. He wants to know all about my everyday things. If there is something going on like trouble at work, he goes out of his way to call me for hours, and likes to share his stuff as well. He underlines that he is not much of a sharing type and feels comfortable with me etc.
He never wants to meet up. He is always too busy. And I know he really is. I know there is no one else. I may be wrong but eh this is what I believe is going on based on what you wrote on here. I need your help! That changed 6 months ago, when we were at this party. I must say I was a little drunk and he was probably too, and all of a sudden we were outside, just the two of us, talking while he was taking a smoke.
When he finished his cigarette, he suddenly started kissing me. The next morning I found out that he actually had a girlfriend, and that she broke up with him because his friends had texted him about him kissing me. What if he might like me for who I am? What if he is interested? What if we kiss again? Moving on, the next time I saw him, he was always joking around with the things I said, and I could feel that he was looking at me more than usual.
One day, the two of us were walking in town, it was a sunny day, and it was one of the first times I actually was alone with him, and with that I mean, alone and sober ;. We did say hi and talked a little bit, but I honestly hoped for a little bit more… Now we are 6 months further, and this weekend we went on a group weekend with 15 friends, including me and him.
And this is where it seems to really bother me: It was like all he was trying to do was impress his friends with his witty comments. What do you think? You have a few options though. Do nothing, wait for him to make a move. Ask him if he wants to do something together. Tell him how you feel, and wait for his reaction. Now, with that said, let me give you a word of warning: Be very careful how this moves forward if it does.
Establish some unspoken boundaries…for your own sake. Maybe dig deeper and find out what this guy really made of…how loyal is he to commitments? Will those thoughts pop into your head if you and him were a couple? You have some things to think about…I wish you the best. I know this guy and we were very close but he got upset with me over reading some old conversation and even though he never committed ,we really had a strong liking towards each other.
I dont want to end things and want to settle things down but really dont know what to do as he does not want to talk to me at all.
Though after not talking for 4- 5 days i sent him a text and the following day he sent a song and the conversation was very abrupt and strange. I might be ready to give up and just move on. I also just messaged him and told him I liked him straight out which may not have been the best idea but I did and he never messaged me back.
What does this mean is he just shy like everyone says? If everyone is saying that he likes you back then he probably does, especially if when you talk to him it seems like he does. I responded with are you messing with me?
And that was it since then.. I responded like that bec my friends have been telling me how he is attached to someone to some extent and sending off signs..
Iamges: 7 signs youre dating a man not a boy
I have no idea what he does at all.
I think u should stick to ur husband and kids. Anonymous July 10,
I am not a coworker just a friend of the family. I told him that I would have said that I would have to think about it. You are right about the adrenaline. She finally came around and now we have a great family and wonderful relationship together! Was he messing with me and saying that he didn't really want to 7 signs youre dating a man not a boy Statistically, how many men or women have entered into someone elses property and called that property their own when it is not and caused that person to become enraged erie pa dating to murder that psychopath all in the name of their God?
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