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Another clue of a pretender is a woman who has a poorly written profile. Signing up for Mamba. I probably only saw or knew someone in a May-December relationship perhaps a dozen times.
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Here, so long as the parents are alive.. As she saw my explanation of the problems she was so disappointed, and wished it had her on the receiving ned of so much trust and affection. I probably only saw or knew someone in a May-December relationship perhaps a dozen times. I am 51 and she is Because his girlfriend actually had a young Phil lover and she, idiotically, believed he had life insurance so with him out of the way, happy trails for her and her real boyfriend.
All you need is a camera or laptop and people will smile. But they are genuine,because they will remember you. I look forward to being with my fiance, but almost dread bringing her here, if only for 3 years.
I enjoy being there because of the people as well as my family but that primarily because they still live by our s morals, minus the drama of racism. And you Henry, are a good man.
Just take your time and your own advice…. I take writing seriously and my goal was to share not only what I see here, but my honest thoughts and experiences. But there is a phenomena occurring here that is too easily judged on a superficial level. Yes the wife is to be submissive to her husband and be a good parent to their children.. And Foreign men from not just America but Australia, Gerrnany, Japan, Korea, Canada and other countries are coming here literally by the planeload to find out for themselves the happiness their friends have found with a wife raised in the Filipina culture.
Some men abuse that privilege and do not return the love they are given. That is their own shame upon themselves. But most men, when treated like a King by their loving Filipina wife suddenly find themselves wanting to be a better Man. Your observations are pretty much on the money. I am amazed at how quickly you have worked out and summed up your observations, for most people it takes years to reach this level of understanding, if they ever do. People in the west have advanced to a point where it is hard for them to know where to they need to go.
Too much crappy music that influences their feeble minds. The infrastucture of the wealthy countries are beautiful but some of the people are becoming ugly. A thousand horses would never never ever draw me back to any Australian, English or American women.
If I was going to be punished, I would spend my life with a Pinay Bar Girl rather than the garbage in the west. Oh by the way the later generation of men are not much better than their female counterparts.
I suppose I am in my perfect element here. I love to observe and analyze new information. I watch everything, talk to lots of people and try to get to the meat of the matter.
I love it here. I was raised being told the US had the biggest buildings, best lifestyle, etc. They are building structures that seem straight out of sci-fi. I could see that for years.
Here, in the Philippines, okay.. No middle-class to speak of, poor infrastructure and some problems here and there. But overall, people here are much happier. They are survivors emotionally. Henry, upon further observance you will discover that there is a large Filipino middle class. It is a totally different scale of wealth that is based more on mindset and values as compared with material possessions in the western world.
You are on to it, just keep on analyzing and you will see it more clearly. You have already touched upon topics in many of your writings that define this middle class. Sometimes It is just not that clear to us westerners, but it is there. Learning by living there has a similarity with going to military boot camp. You must be torn down before you can be changed. But I only discovered your site by accident a few days back. As all old hands know, that was a major mistake. But there was a baby involved now 22 and later his sister now And I can only say that regardless of the 50 miles of hard road that was, and remains, their mother, these two gave my life joy and dimension throughout most of their lives.
And even now, tho they are venturing out and have no particular interest in hanging out with their dear old dad, they are a source of pride and satisfaction for me. However, when they were very young, the fallout of the Asian Economic Crisis of or thereabouts meant an end to jobs for a freelancer like me. And not having a ton of dough, I reckoned the only way I could keep to commitment I had made to be there for them, regardless, I took them back to my hometown of Vancouver in Canada.
But there were good schools available for free. So I set the three of them up in a modest house rented and then answered a work call in Hong Kong. And for the next bit I used the good money I was once again making to, first, support the kids and their mother at home, while I lived very modestly in a place where it is hard to do that. In the course of that I met, after quite a time, a year-old Filippina helper who had been in Hong Kong working, seemingly happily, with a very successful Chinese insurance CEO and a gentleman, unlike many of his type I hasten to add ; she was beautiful, had PhD skills in home and young child management, great personal charm, on and on.
So he favoured her, fell in love with her in fact — tho never trying to pressure her. As she put it to me, growing up she saw only three places; her school, the church and her home, where not surprisingly she had many suitors coming to visit. Then one day her father, back from Saudi Arabia where he was a driver, was drinking with his friends.
She came back from a late afternoon fiesta. He thought she was playing around, beat her up. And immediately after that she started pressuring her various admirers to actually marry her. All the lads with futures, declined. There his relatives scared her into marrying him. Which is when Mt Pinatobo blew up. All was buried in ash and lahar. They were stuck in a re-settlement area, where she apparently was a stalwart of the struggling new community.
So she went to HK. She was hesitant at first, probably not believing I would do such a thing. But we did and it seemed like a perfect answer. In fact it was a perfect disaster. Her kids, two boys, one girl, ranged from 24 down to Eventually I cleared it all off.
But it left my kids scarred and cynical, perhaps for good; it destroyed me financially, at least for more than five years. And now, ironically, I find myself at this age researching a return to Asia; not for a relaxed retirement, but to work — which happily colleagues of mine assure me is still possible. Of course along the way, I came to learn a lot more about people from that country; and there is a lot of violence, for example the young beautiful girlfriend of a much younger IT colleague of mine doing biz in Manila got shot to death in his office in broad daylight.
Because his girlfriend actually had a young Phil lover and she, idiotically, believed he had life insurance so with him out of the way, happy trails for her and her real boyfriend. Just that there is often much more to the portrait. First let me commend you on one of the best researched, heartfelt and written blog articles I have ever read.
You are right on the money with almost everything. I could write pages also concerning this topic however you have put it so perfect. Also I would like to talk to you about some of your topics but not in a public forum. Wow I am blown away by this article.
Hi Roxas Ron, coming from you that is such compliment. The Philippines would have probably been a lot better for me and sounds like i would have had a lot more fun there. I do not like New Zealand, but it is better than the US anyway. I thought it was a good move on his part to marry that girl. They are still married as far as i know. I agree with you about the US and if i have to leave New Zealand, i will probably try to move to the Philippines.
So many weather related events are now happening that i am worried that severe food shortages world wide may develop in a couple of years or more. So, my thinking was that New Zealand is a better place to be than the Philippines if the world food supply starts diminishing substantially especially the rice harvest. If i am wrong and the problem does not get worse soon, then the Philippines is probably a lot better than New Zealand.
Mexico seems like it would be a good place to go, but as far as i can tell — too many severe problems including severe drought conditions just like Texas, plus i do not know how i could stay there long term without getting into trouble.
My brother says he is going to Mexico when he gets his social security check. Mexico would be a lot better than New Zealand if Mexico did have so many problems related to the US plus the drought problem. I could write a lot more, but it would just be confirmation of what you have already said. I remember the Woody Allen issue. The other factor, aside from the age difference, was that the girl he married Soon-Yi had previously been the adopted daughter of his girlfriend, Mia Farrow.
But Soon-Yi was not adopted by Woody Allen nor raised by him. My ex-wife, a wonderful woman, was born and raised in Mexico so I made lots of visits there during our year marriage. The difference between Mexico and the Philippines is that the poor in Mexico have picked up some cruel habits from living in the shadow of the vicious drug cartels.
In Mexico, if you have money you are a target for either home invasion, kidnapping or extortion. The cost of living in New Zealand is high, perhaps to some people very high. Never occurred to me that rice is produced over such a large geographic area that changing weather patterns may not have as drastic affect on the over-all production levels. Time will tell i guess. So glad I stumbled upon your blog and particularly this posting.
This is a core issue for me and frankly even on forums devoted to the Philippines many people still rail against the May-December relationships, and in a very disrespectful way. What you wrote is a fantastic distillation of the views I have come to over the last year.
I only have two nits with your analysis. First, apparently I like my women older than you do, since my gf is 24 I am Secondly, I do not find FIlipinas to be particularly submissive. They are respectful of their man and supportive and loving like no others, but they have quite a backbone in my modest experience.
Thanks for the good words Dave. Pros and Cons come with each. I want someone with no kids and finding one older than 23 has been a complete challenge. Just texted with another girl today, 18 and already has a baby. With a 35 year gap in your current relationship, Philippines is the place to be. But very devoted and huge romantics. Not in a disrespectful way, but in jealousy. What have you gotten published? Henry, Filipinas age very well. I know this for a fact as my Asawa is Henry, great blog and excellent writing.
If I went on my own, how would I go about meeting women. Personally, I would -not- suggest a romance-tour, cruise or turnaround of any kind. The absolute best thing to do is move here.. As to the Filipina Dating sites, wait until you are here to use one. Instead, you can simply ask for their text number once you are here and in a couple hours be sitting across the table from them in person. Interesting views on May December relationships, as well as the extended rationalization about how cross cultural and cross generational romantic relationships are different in the Philippines.
Yes, I have no doubt that the typical 18 year old Filipina is quite different from her American counterpart. Given the expectations and upbringing of women in the Philippines, I can see how a romantic relationship would more easily thrive over there than here in the States. Still, while I recognize that love and respect can cross both generational and cultural lines and pass through romance into a convivial, adult relationship, I still feel that…often…and maybe not always…the younger Filipina is trading her youthful allure for a strong measure of financial and social security from their foreign husband.
Many young Filipinas might be desperate financially, and the tradeoff for a marriage to an older foreigner is that financial security that a native husband might not as easily provide. It doesn't negate the fact that love could develop, I suppose, but still—if I had my preferences as a single foreigner in the Philippines, I certainly wouldn't be interested in any woman under the age of I simply can't imagine what commonalities I could share with a woman who was born when I was 20 years old.
And I believe that all women, from every country, to some degree choose the man they will marry with security as a major deciding factor. And a much younger woman is not for everyone.
I like the way you answer some of your readers comments. I enjoy reading your daily yourny in living in the phil. I am a dutch man that came down from south africa and love it here. I try to keep up, lots and lots of comments via the site here, the youtube channel and the facebook page. Can you tell me how to find out the ways that I can show this income? Is it done by tax filings, bank deposits, or what? Henry i was wanting to come over to PHP to see how life is for a couple of months before moving over.
You can get a lot of information on many topics of living in the PH from the members here on the Forum link here. But the Forum here should be able to get you much of the general information you need from guys who have been living here for years. Greetings Henry, Thank you for taking the time to do what you do.
You have me laughing out loud sometimes. More importantly, I have gotten a better sense of the culture and have been surprised at some of my incorrect assumptions.
I will be coming to visit this fall for a few months with the intent of finding a place to settle down. My only concern is lack of Mexican food….. I am 51 and she is She had no kids and never married….. It did not work out because she is not what I am looking for.
She was actually defiant with me on some issues and I've had enough of that with American women. I wanted to marry her, met her parents, asked their permission etc….. I can't wait to go back and meet the right one! I'm a subscriber and maybe I will meet you some day and buy you lunch and some beers! WOW is this a loaded subject, in so many ways.
Henry I generally agree with much of what you say. And there are no reasons that your posting would change that. I would add a few thoughts of my own. This is a hard one for many western men to deal with if they have never experienced what is easily found waiting for them here. As you and many others have said there are 1,s of attractive and available women here, even after you subtract the undesirable ones.
And as soon as you turn your head there is another and another, etc. As soon as you focus on one, there are 20 more in the background clamoring for your attention. Henry you know what you want. This I think is something that many men think about only in a vague way before they get here.
So I am breaking things down in generalities. If you are under 40 and do want children, the Fils may be your paradise with women in the 20ish age range. If you are older than 40 and do not want children because you already have your own back home or simply do not want children then the 20ish option is pretty much not available.
Because even if the young woman says I do not want children their biological clock is still ticking. Therefore somewhere around the age of 30 that will likely turn into a demanding yes. I now want at least one child of my own. If you have been together with the woman by that time for over say, five years what are you going to do? If the relationship is otherwise excellent, leaving it would be very hard to do.
If you over 60 then the whole subject may become much more demanding and sooner than you think. You may even really want to start another family or perhaps it is your first family. And here comes the big but. It is not fair to the prospective offspring. Because the likelihood is that you will be dead before the child finishes high school, which currently in the Fils ends at grade This is not a financial matter which can be taken care of in many ways.
This is a matter of doing the right thing for your children. As an example look at the number of women here who have one or more children and no committed husband or father to provide a positive masculine influence for their children. And it is always there. Of course you could be squashed by a bus the next day but generally speaking you will be around until the child reaches the age of If you are more than 55 I think it is not a responsible thing to do.
But that damn grass is so green that it takes your breath away. So if you want children, looking for an older woman who already was one or more of her own would be an ideal situation. That way you get to bypass the stinky stage say with children less than two years old. And you can start to have fun with your kids right away. If you are up in my age range 65 a woman who is 40 or more could be the ideal match.
As many have said Filipinas generally age well. And by that age usually the youngsters are teenagers or nearly so.
So you decide, of course, big head or little. Only remember, your children will pay the price for better or worse. One other point that I have not run across in the discussions I have read is the genes thing. Many Filipinas want to have a child with a foreigner because they believe the blend of the genes produces prettier children. And this is often the case. Just look at that beautiful smiling face sitting next to you, she is most likely a blend of one or more different ethnical ancestors.
Unfortunately many of the younger less educated women do not understand that half the genetic make up of a child comes from the mother. And some of the most desirable genetic traits are recessive. That is why you do not see blue eyed, blond haired mixed children. There are far more pressing matters with which to occupy your life and time.
You left out a major, major problem. Actually even the religions many of the religions you mentioned are affected by that same "You are lucky to date me" mentality and it's slowly creeping to other country through TV and the Internet. I think the Philippines is the last hold out. Many of the western women in those religions just do their best not to act that way or say they feel sometimes say they agree with the old school Biblical type principles but really their actions prove different and they treat men like it's a privilege to even look in their general direction.
Notice I didn't say they were all like that but many are. I think finding a girl with good Bible based values in the Philippines is better because they really believe those values and don't just claim to.
I am 74 but look younger, in good health with a family history of longevity. If I marry a woman of 55 and I die after 20 years, she will be 75, probably not attractive, and alone. The same goes for children, another huge expense. Actually I would hope your opinion would be supportive of my thoughts.
Have you ever considered that a woman over 40 from any country is set in her ways and that problems with a filipino woman would be more likely simply because she cannot adapt to lots of everyday things unlike her under 20 counterpart will adapt. Different strokes and all. Two kids, so my perspective is very different, I suppose. I could be wrong, but bully for any couple that finds happiness together despite their age difference.
I love your series and have been reading a lot from you because I am starting an adventure of my own. As the father of 3 daughters, I have found the prejudice of the age gap to be ridiculous. And the American reaction to that is "Aren't they a cute couple. But if they were to date a something guy, he would be attentive, patient, listen to her, dote on her, never cheat on her lest he lost his young girlfriend. He would know how to treat her, never rush her sexually, and put her pleasure over his.
And the American reaction to this is "He's a pervert and he's taking advantage of her. Americans are not very smart, are they? My youngest has learned from the mistakes of her sisters. She is 17 and looking for an older guy. Henry, I am very glad to see this — the best article on this specific aspect of relationship, as you called a May-Dec relationship.
I have spent many, many hours researching Filipino-Western, and May-Dec relationships — on the internet to try to prepare myself to marry a young Ilocano woman. I am 53 she was Sadly her allegiance to her family, her inability to openly communicate on our serious shared issues and something her father did, caused me to stop our plans just a month ago. Was regretting it very much today!!! I still feel I want to find another young Filipino to marry eventually, had doubts but leaning that way.
Reading this pushes me right to wanting it and feeling it would be an excellent decision!!! Of course if I can go through a sufficient process and we get to know each other well enough. My trouble is I live in France….
American soon divorced, and have an 11 year old daughter here — not sure how I will get sufficiently acquainted but I sure hope the Lord will help me have the joy of sharing life with a young Filipina one day, I will be hoping.
As she saw my explanation of the problems she was so disappointed, and wished it had her on the receiving ned of so much trust and affection. At first I mistook it as if she was ready for me! I myself am 44 years of age,born and raised in Canada of Middle Eastern origin,now divorced and looking to visit the PI with the hopes of finding a nice young girl and a new part-time life overseas.
I just stumbled across your site today and I will be joining your mailing list and following the blogs. Every time I go to a market to buy vegetables I get smiles and flirtation. Yes, they are quite young and have babies. The girls are disgusted and the men are rejected. For you, 2-questions to think through. You can go abroad for business and return home. Most of them them think the girl is fortunate to have you in her life.
If she has kids they think you sit at the right hand of God! I suspect what will happen will make you extremely happy for the rest of our years. Check it out and tell me what you think. Most members are upper-income with college degrees, and its Fraud Detection ensures no-nonsense dating BlackPeopleMeet is the go-to dating site for black and interracial singles, whether they just want a casual date or are looking to get married. The odds are also in your favor in terms of gender ratio: Friendship, Casual Dates, Serious Relationships.
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Search by interest, zip code, photos, more. Each new member is carefully vetted before an account is approved as well. As the most popular free online dating site, OkCupid. Another free online dating site, PlentyofFish. As the editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice. Search by age, profile, zip, more Our Experts Say: Serious Relationships Match System:
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America today is hardly a theocracy that looks to God for guidance either in its politics or its entertainment. Nobody is advocating marrying a 13 year old. They respect their parents that much, by and large.
You must be torn down before you can be changed. All were ages from 18 to 20 with no kids..
This is not a financial matter which can be taken care of in many ways. Some people are very mature at age The cost of best online dating strategy in New Zealand is high, perhaps to some people very high. Personality test suggests matches Atrategy Experts Say: Same in Italy, France and Spain.
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