Does Online Dating Even Work?!
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Or you get my messages and ignore them. I present myself very accurately online.. I do not get messages.. This is not an exaggeration either. Changing my profile around does nothing. Most women I see put hardly any effort into theirs.
Since I still meet girls out and about I only use online dating as another way to meet people. I was getting so many messages from so many men, reading their profiles, seeing what matched for ME.
A lot of the women are looking for something in particular. If you say you pick up attractive girls while you are out, consider this: MOST women can pick up guys all the time.
They do not need to go on the Internet to do it. It is not a pick up site. It is a dating website. Not a pick up. If the in person thing is working for you, I would just stick with that. I tried Internet dating I am a woman because I was having no luck in person lately.
I had no luck on the Internet either. I am really looking to meet a serious partner. And if you read it and you are not all that interested, then what difference does it make if she replies or not? The problem is a numbers game. If you ever have an interest set up a profile as a woman. One you would email and then just sit back and see what happens and you will understand. Want to really get a feel? Post a picture of a very attractive female and pretend to be her. See how many emails you get in an hour and see how horrible some of them are.
Then you will understand this is not about you at all. And while I really want to and at first tried to send a no thank you to every guy that emailed me it was just too much and I found that it prompted an increase of nasty follow ups from men wanting to know why I was rejecting them or why no one liked them or why I was being such a well you put the nasty word in there. Plus, expectations are too high going into an online date. But a good date should make you feel the opposite — elated about the potential and possibility!
The best way to meet people to date is through friends — BBQs, parties, clubs, social groups. The common bond is a great starting point. What do you have in common with someone else who online dates — you both subscribed to the same service?
Though what if, like myself, you have moved to an area far away from family and friends. I do not dance 2 left feet is an understatement so clubs are out. Sans friends there are no party invites. Any bar I have found in the area is filled with married couples or people years older than me.
Where do I then go to get a jumping off point? I am told I am a good looking man and have attractive eyes. Will women get more dates and spend less money? Will most men never get a response let alone a date? Does online dating work?? Women no longer have to leave the house and they can have 10 dates a week. They can put up their blury picture from 5 yrs and 30 lbs ago and get tons of meaningless attention as well as deicde who they interact with and for how long… usually 2 or 3 emails..
This is kind of funny, but also kind of sad. I split up with my ex boyfriend who turned out to be too insane and not nice over 3 years ago. After crying myself to sleep for months, I decided to get myself in gear and go out. I got on the Internet. I could not even get a coffee date. So I took myself out. To everywhere I was invited. I usually went by myself. I almost always paid for myself. Sometimes I paid for my friends. I am beautiful, kind and smart. I have never been married. I have a few nice male friends I know from the YMCA I swim almost everyday and am in great shape, all natural, attractive features.
I commented earlier about how nervous I am about Internet dating. It has been a real mixed bag for me. But it was the first time in 3 years that a man actually took me out to dinner. Before that I went out with my girlfriends or simply dined alone. It was so stressful after the meal the man practically pounced on me. I was courteous, thanked him and said good night.
Too many creeps on these sites ruin it for the good ones. My only reason for being on the two major sites match and eharmony are to find a lasting relationship. Nothing needy, nothing rushed, but that is surely my goal at any rate. I seem to be what a lot of women are looking for, at least as stated in their profiles.
My not-so-scientific conclusions for the women range. Criteria — body type is slender, athletic or average. All other criteria open.
Weed out the plastic queens — the black eyebrows and unnaturally blonde hair, usually accompanied by very tan real, UV, or spray-on skin, fake nails, etc…see also attention whores and money hungry above. It comes to them. Vino is absolutely right, good, attractive physically fit women or men are not dating on line as they usually have a life! This is a common misconception. Good attractive physically fit women, at least in the upper tier of attractiveness are more often than not sitting at home alone on date nights.
I suggest this to men, look on women that are not 8s and 10s and you will have a better shot. And only email women that you would actually approach in person. As much as my experiences as a man have thus far been very strange and disappointing, and as much as I wish I could justify giving up to myself, I am going to politely disagree. I have met a number of very desirable women. Granted, none of these situations has worked out and I would concede that I think that each of these attractive and successful women have unrealistic expectations.
But my anecdotal experience is that they are out there, even if the ones with their heads screwed halfway normal are few and far between. Yet I married a man who had children from a previous marriage, and a previous relationship.
And that was not what split us up, either. For all you childless people counting out dating a parent, you are doing yourself a tremendous disservice. I know I did. I myself do not like to date men who have no children—they often have childish, selfish attitudes and are emotionally stunted and irresponsible—but I make exceptions for those that may be good. I totally co-sign on that one. I have two biological children one now deceased.
Did they come with some headaches? If you are in your mid to late 30s and beyond I think it is unreasonable to disregard all the people that have children.
However, the reason people do is that they are not ready for the responsibility of a family, they do not want an insta family. If this is the case then they should not seek out single parents, it is unfair for them to do so.
If you are single and childness it is a total different lifestyle to date a single parent. I can pick up and fly to LA or another country at the drop of a hat, a parent could not do that. I have a lot more free time than a parent does to date as well. I understand the preference. Attractive pictures, though, including boob job. Therefore I am hot. Her income info is blank, but she does mention being self-employed. Notice the double standard? I have a disability that keeps me from working full-time.
That makes dating a pain online and off. Online I look for lower income guys—deliberately. Here are just a few of my reservations:. Essentially, I do not see myself using a supermarket approach to address an issue of a pretty existential nature.
I think the below quote from one of the posters is a good illustration of what I mean by supermarket approach:. Then, there is an issue of how you perceive your, so called, private sphere. I do not see myself placing a photo not to mention a photo showing the cleavage and a lot of personal info on a public website where it can be viewed by basically everyone.
I guess people differ very much in what they perceive as a part of their private sphere as opposed to public sphere. Well, I do not believe that a soulmate might drop out of the sky, but I do believe that sometimes we just come to a realization that this someone who is around makes so much difference that you just cannot imagine the world without them. Wanting to have a love life without making an effort to achieve it is empty.
Wanting to date online and worrying about anonymity is similar. No shame in that. Online dating is the most obvious spot to meet likeminded single people. But hey, go try the gym and let me know how it goes. And to your last point: I thank you, Cinnamon, for providing a valuable service to all the people out there who think like you do. After so many years of online dating yourself, you met your future wife not online, but at a party. Here I have one question; did the online environment make it feel easier or harder when you were doing it, not in hindsight for you and your now-wife to indulge those very biases while still getting at least a satisfactory number of dates?
Neither my wife nor I had any trouble procuring online dates within our too narrow parameters. It is somewhat like shooting a fish in a barrel. Problem was that I was shooting in the wrong barrel. Love his simple, straightforward advice.
What type business are you in? Dating online is beneficial long-term to those to who own and promote the sites, bottom line is money making, not quality. They sell people and the few success stories they have, but no one really knows the statistical outcomes of meeting online. The divorce rate in the US is still very high, even higher for second marriages. My findings are most people online are not living authentic lives and are not attractive to me.
I want to meet the healthy people who are living good quality lives, and that success, for me personally, only happens in person. Being in communities where people know people helps reduce the amount of sleuthing I have to do. I have found the best quality of people off-line.
To me, doing the online thing takes too long to filter out who the liars are because some people have had lifelong experience at it and can be quite good.
Meeting the person in person usually seals the deal or ends it. I am often quite surprised at how carelessly, haphazardly, and cluelessly some people go about this very important process. With the proliferation of spammers, married people, general scum online, I have had much better success online dating in the past than recently. I no bother with online dating sites, I am looking for authentic folks who live the lives they say they do, not those who are online due to boredom, loneliness, lack of social skills, for whom this is merely a game, etc.
I enjoyed your thoughts and agree. After much consideration as to whether I should try online dating I have decided not too. Being apart of a good community I enjoy the people around me, and they continue to bring the best out of me.
True love wont drop out of the sky for me. I am 32 self employed designer who pours herself too much into her work. The decision I have made is to make more time for people. To remain open, relaxed and cracking jokes in my usual wacky way without trying to impress or be something I am not. I dont want you to be perfect, no one is. If I have to search online for you I fear I would miss you in the confusion of the crowd! Basically Im with you all on this and drinks are on me if you come to my local!
Dating Online is not perfect. But really annoys me is when girls I ask out from dating sites put Online dating down yet they are there to chat to. I use Online Dating as a gateway to meeting someone and arranging to meet up. I can tell you I have had three girlfriends. All from Plenty Of Fish. But why are they on there then? I am a shy man who just wants to be given a chance and I have met loads of wrong people online. But as I mentioned earlier I have met girls from the net so that is the main reason I keep using Online Dating sites.
They are capable enough to meet someone for real in a club or something. I livedin xxx,then I moved here. My momma told me to stay away from lady lawyers…they were all trouble. I see you like wines. I spent a semester in xxxx. It was lots of fun. So what is it you do? I found this in the email archives. Okay, let me attempt to word this in a way that would likely pass the censorship here: Juju, please read my previous posts. If you wish to insult, at least be marginally accurate.
By the way, by so insulting without provocation, please consider the possibility you prove my point. Have a nice day. Not every woman who asks about your profession is a gold digger. There are pictures of my dog. There are at least a dozen things to ask about. One look at match. What was your favorite part? Have you ever been to Yosemite? So please spare me the criticism for pointing out disingenuous behavior.
Victims of not knowing what to say? Well after reading this thread I finally realize I am not the only male who has not had any luck with dating websites. It ALL comes down to the picture. Nothing more, nothing less. If you are too short or too tall, too fat or too thin, this is the next eliminating step. IF you make it past 1 and 2, then it comes down to your occupation and how much money you make.
She is single and wants ALL the attention. If and only if you make it past these steps, will she finally read what your profile has to say. What constitutes a good mother is being single until your children are 18?
What world do you live in? They give great hugs. My response to you is it depends on what women you are emailing. If you are emailing the top tier of attractive women they everything you typed is correct. Because those women are getting bombarded with emails, and have their pick of who they want to go out with. Understand the huge discrepancy between how much correspondence men get versus women.
I am your age, and most men in our age range set their age range below their own. Why because she can. I bet there are a lot of average looking women in your age range that would love to talk to you and whom you would make the cut with, but you are not emailing them. If I am getting over 30 emails a day, like I did when I online dated, yes I am going to look at pictures.
I am also going to chose a man without kids over one who has them, because my lifestyle is not such that I want to become a parent. But what I wanted to comment on was 4. I once dated a man with a child from a previous marriage, before I had any preferences on the subject.
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