Dating Someone with Less Money or More Time

5 Telltale Signs He Likes You

dating someone with the same exact birthday

I agree with you ADS. Having done so they decide it's time to set course for their next destination, but it turns out that they don't have to, because out of all the infinite directions it could have chosen the evil robot randomly selected the very course they wanted to take. For example, when the Call happened, Brienne of Tarth was on the Vale, and she was pulled towards the Isle of Faces, which leads to her meeting Brynden Tully. Please let me know. I would suspect that favorites would just be a flag on the profile that you would remove but clearing out who you viewed or who viewed you sounds like something that would stick around. In my past, there have been times when even though the relationship was good, my insecurity would eat away at me. In the RWBY episode A Minor Hiccup , the protagonist drops her phone, and Penny just happens to be the person, in a crowd of dozens, who picks it up, thus drawing the two into a plot-important conversation even though Penny had been ordered not to talk to her.

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However, in this case, I feel that the conversation points I laid out above do more to instruct than even my explaining of my viewpoint would have…. There is one I want to delete so I go the button for change photos and they are all there but displaying as the same icon so I never know which one is the right one!!! If you are a superhero, then someone you know will be murdered horribly , or develop superpowers , or at least have some slightly odd seemingly innocuous problem that will be intimately connected with a supervillain's latest Evil Plan. This was in the discussion of paid subscribers. Hazel — I thought when viewing search results or your favorites it shows the last time they logged in without you having to view their profile. I want to scream. The fates of Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent crossed paths a ridiculous number of times before they ever became Batman and Superman , and even before they knew each others secret identities.

But the thing is we really connected and I dont think anyone can come close. Its sooo strange cause we started hanging out together times a week recently and he just cant stop staring at me at every moment wen im with him.

Im sooo scared to lose this guy and dont know what to think right now. All my friends that I ask think he is playing me and i dont know if i should even listen to anyone because everyone can have their different reasons.

Im really falling for this guy and I never ever pressure him on anything cause i know men dont like to be pressured so i kind of take each day as it comes.

Yes, suspicion can destroy a relationship if it is unfounded. But sometimes suspicion is justified. Hana, this guy is looking around while enjoying you and wonderful qualities. Match and eHarmony screen pretty well, and if a guy has an active profile on a site like one of those, it usually and I would say A girlfriend or boyfriend can usually tell it the profile is real in any number of ways — if the profile has exact details about height and weight, the writing style that was used, etc…..

This girl is just going to get hurt. She should leave the guy ASAP. The majority of these guys that get on these dating sites especially Match never get off. Many of them are not serious and they are addicted to Match and other dating sites. I realized after 4 months of being on Match that this was not the venue to use to meet someone if you are interested in a serious long-term relationship. At some point they are going to get back on.

Women would be better off meeting a guy in a traditional setting through work, a friend, museum, whatever. Syndrome … Newness- Grass is Greener Syndrome. An addiction to online dating, even if you have a significant other.. Sorry, but I disagree. Before becoming intimate, demand exclusivity, which also means get off of all dating sites — and let him know that you will check periodically to make sure he does.

Sorry, but he HAS given this girl a reason to distrust him. This same thing happened to me — met a guy on eHarmony. Within a month we felt pretty serious about each other and I asked him if we could agree to be exclusive, including unsubscribing to any dating sites. But 4 months later, I found out he was still on eHarmony but told me he was just on there for fun, changing some information but not conversing with anyone.

Two months later he was on Match. Two years later I found out he was still filling out profiles. By then, I was a mess. He had lied for two years and that is a very long time to be with someone. Please move on, for the good of your mind and heart. This article is spot on. It was never because of her, it was simply because the suspicion kept eating away at me until I brought it up.

Rather than saying anything, I simply ignore it. Thank you so much I really needed to see and hear this, and the fact that it came from a man makes it so much more official for me to do exactly as you said and the article said. When dating online it is imperative you remain open and honest. I met a handsome guy on pof. We BOTH made a conscious decision to delete our profiles and be exclusive. I kept feeling this uneasiness about him. That is a very unsettling way to feel. My boyfriend and I have been going out for more than a year and we met on meet me.

He asked me out and we were together ever since. I deleted my account and I asked him to delete him, which he said he did. However, I was feeling something was going on that I did not know about and so I checked his email which i should not have done and I saw some messages that were from meet me.

However, it was not from his real account. He had created a fake one. It still has all of his pictures. I logged on to it because he gave me his passwords to things and I figured it was the same one. He only talks to girls on there; however, there is nothing like they are meeting up or hooking up at all.

He will say hey and talk for about five minutes and then the convo is done. I stopped checking his personal accounts and email after we got in a big fight about whether he was cheating on me or not. I never felt right about checking it anyway. I thought it was great because he must have stopped after our convo. However, i checked again today if he had been on, and it said he had three days ago. I am not one to stay in relationships where i am not the main focus, but over a year?

That is so many invest feelings. I have no idea what to do. I av friends who always text me i do reply but not with love, i want to ask wat will i do to love someone, and if you can give me the match. Thanks so much, I really appreciated your comment. Eric, I feel like your post sends out a very sad message to women. You get butterflies and your heart pounds when you see me.

You and I have only been dating a short time but the potential is there. We see each other times per week. You ask for exclusivity and I give this to you. A week later you log onto to Match. So please enlighten me, what does that story look like? We live in different cities but have seen each other almost every weekend except two.

This friend since added me on facebook and so has his housemate. He was also kissing me in front of them too. We were on his laptop and I was on youtube. He went downstairs and I was just looking at songs.

I managed to close the tab I was on by mistake and when I opened what I thought was the right one I found it was his dating website profile. However I knew of the website and I was able to see his profile when I got home. He still checks his profile each day but not multiple times per day. Any advice welcome thanks! I understand what this girl is going through. Also, it can all backfire on you.

I also suggest getting yourself tested. The fact of the matter is this kind of thing is a real life concern, not just for fear of being played but for your health and safety.

Since we agreed to be exclusive, how do you feel about this? Relax and be willing to accept the truth whatever it may be. If you leave the question open ended he has room to answer whichever way while knowing that you were simply considering what do with yours.

If anything, it will clarify what this term means for each of you.. I am sorry to be negative here, but I dated a guy for three months that I met online…I noticed that his profile was still active and often he was checking it daily…I wanted to trust him so I did…I confronted him about it, but said that I trusted him and wanted him to take his profile down because he wanted to, not because I asked him to. I found out he was dating multiple people yes, and sleeping with all of us , all from the online dating site.

He was a world class liar. Looking back, I think if someone is active on an online dating site, while he is dating you, he is probably a player. Wow how did you find out he was sleeping with multiple people?? Ahhhh and he wants exclusivity! I have a few bad experiences in the beginning of The comment before was about a guy I met in the latter part of I met this other guy while on blackpeoplemeet.

Yet, there were many red flags! Meaning he would wait for my response to see what card he would pull out of his hat next…..

After I invited him to my home and he seen how nice it was, the horns started to emerge from his head. Needless to say, I dropped him like a bad habit.

The dating game has changed tremendously over the years and many have ulterior motives and love not being one of them! Again, yes, sometimes people do get taken advantage of or hurt. But it is much worse to go through life with your guard up all the time, distrusting everyone, self-provective and bracing yourself. Personally, I have learned that it is better to assume people are good and do good things and not to be concerned until someone has actually done something bad.

This is so true, I can honestly say that given this is a very hard task to do as well as keep up with. When I met someone very special, I did that periodically for awhile just to see his picture or double checking some of his interests for date planning. Sign up for our free newsletter and get a free chapter of our book,"He's Not That Complicated". The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc.

Other Must-See Related Posts: Frequently Asked Questions Ask a Guy: How Do You Find Love? When a Guy Doesn't Text Back Is He The One? How To Know For Sure Leave Your Comment Now Heresjone I have noticed that if you get email notifications from Match just opening one of the emails logs you in and shows you have been online. Mary I recently met someone on Match… We saw each othe twice and are planning to see each other again..

Sally I agree with Susan, I do not feel convinced about what Eric said! Eric Charles Hey there — I looked back at this article, which I wrote awhile ago, and I agree it missed some key points. Sabby Ive been thru this anf r currently going thru this. Lynn Is his name Jon? Sarasota is like player capital of the world. Chris Absolutely agree with this post. Confused girl I met my boyfriend on a dating site.

Linda Hi Eric, great article, and I found it because I am in a similar situation and really need your advice on how to go about it. Jane My story is I am over 45 and back into dating I was single for 3 years. Jacqui Kay In addition to answer from Just me: S Just recently went through this on another site. Ingrid Hello, I read ur full story. Sally Thank you so much! Ella Why did you let him talk you into staying with him? Susan DeFrance I my name is susan like to call sue.

Confused I wish I could find an article more recent in regards to this topic. Ella You know the answer already. Moops I disagree with the advice in this article. Kelly Totally agree Moops! Ella A truly excellent reply. Sammy I met someone in my home area on an online dating site. But here is my situation: Eric Charles if you can give me ur intake on this i would appreciate it. CAMBA you could be experiencing something similar to what ive experienced before.

Ana Sorry, but I disagree. Dan This article is spot on. Hana Thank you so much I really needed to see and hear this, and the fact that it came from a man makes it so much more official for me to do exactly as you said and the article said. It is definitely a source of resentment for me. I love my husband beyond words, and he is so supportive of my much more demanding, and more lucrative, job. Can you try to look around for a job that still pays OK but is more fun for you?

Meanwhile, start networking and sending out resumes. But for him to stop feeling defensive and start thinking constructively, he needs to be focused on making you happy and solving a joint problem, rather than on how inadequate you feel his contribution is. There is nothing wrong with your feelings of resentment, but sharing them may not be the best way to get what you want in this situation.

And the way the economy is now, the big expensive cities are where the jobs are. So sure you can move somewhere cheaper, but then your husband might not be employed at all. I agree there is a lot of keeping up with the Joneses but I also think it is tough for a family of 4 to make drastic life changes even if they want to. Or are they in the highest tax bracket? This is how I feel all the time, except I make three times more.

And I hate myself for feeling this way. Kids just grow up. But, if you feel strongly about having a parent home with the kid, why not have your husband stay home? We ate dinner an hour later during tax season and little things like that but my parents just picked up the slack for each other depending on what time of year it was. But if you like being a CPA, really, your kids will be fine. It was also wonderful to have such a close relationship with my father, especially as a teenager, and as a girl!

My mom was in law school when she was pregnant with me, and she was passionate about her career when I was a kid. Even so, my brother and I always knew that we were loved and were a major priority in our parents lives. For example, my mom was able to rearrange her work schedule so that she could pick us up in the afternoons, spend time with us, make dinner, etc. My dad worked longer during the week, but took over more weekend duties. If you really care about your future kids and try to be there for them when you can, it will show.

My mom stayed home with my brother and I until my dad left when I was 8. After that I was in daycare and I freaking hated it. I knew my husband would never make much. I have been trying for over a year to get the hell out of public accounting and so far nothing is working out for me.

I think a big part is the communication there. Can the lower earners really fault the higher earners in this situation? If he was always on a low earning path, she might be less justified in her frustration. Any woman who believes that the man should support his family should be okay with the belief that the man is the head of the family. Is she okay with her worth being judged by her ability to produce children and keep house? Or does she still want to have a career and have equal input in household decisions?

Although I would argue that equality makes life better for all of us. And that means that respect can be equally derived from traditionally feminine or traditionally masculine sources. This is why men used to have more heart attacks than women: We are in a lare metropolitan area with a very high cost of living. It would be difficult for us to survive on his income alone, particularly since I have student loans.

As a wife and mother, I feel pressure for my house to look good, to be a good cook, for my kids to be well dressed, etc. I think it is ideal for one parent to stay at home — in my situation, my husband has no desire to stay home. You know, I have NO experience with any of these things, but I bet that you are a very high-achieving woman who has always done well in life. In order to be a great lawyer, a great mother and a great wife — you need a great partner, and it seems like you need to have a serious talk with your husband to see if he is meeting that standard.

Please understand that I am saying this from a place of absolute love: Tell your mother to shove it. This was hard for me too, because I take great pride in my domestic abilities, but you know what? My house is dusty. I am not superwoman, and I have made choices in my life about what is most important.

The first can be accomplished by hiring a housekeeper, or having your husband take on a greater load. The latter can be accomplished with the help of a counselor who can help you address these feelings of failure stemming from not being able to be in six places at once. Reading all of these comments, I am so grateful to my mother for working and getting advanced degrees when I was a child. Plus, it also gives me leverage to tell my mom nicely to shove it if she ever tries to guilt me about the state of my home ;.

Maybe go on a long weekend with hubby let your perfect mom watch the kids and talk about where you want your life to go from here. Thanks for that comment. Trying to be a wife, mother, and lawyer at the same time has been a humbling experience.

It is good to be reminded that it is ok — and normal — to feel humbled by it! Remember that children raised in a dirty house have more well-developed immune systems and are more resistant to colds; I remind my mother-in-law of this regularly.

Tell your mother to get bent or stuff it, whichever you prefer. You are under no obligation to live your life to please your mother, which would probably be impossible anyway I know, I think our mothers are similar. Actually, I think we might be parallel-universe siblings. My whole life was hard until I finally told my mother the following: I love you; butt out B.

I am not here to live up to your expectations, and you are not here to live up to mine, now that we are both adults and C. The main problem in my case was that my mom tried to keep me in the subordinate, insecure, child position in our relationship long past the point when it was no longer appropriate. Now that she knows I expect her to treat me as an adult — no different than she would treat any other adult — our relationship is a lot better.

Like Disneyland, except way more unattainable. Do what you can do. Let the rest go. See above about telling your mom to stuff it.

The one who resents it the most is a lawyer who hates his job. I am so there with my mom right now, I feel like I am losing my mind. I want to scream. Thank you for this. My husband and I both have JDs from the same top 10 school. When we got married, we were both BigLaw associates. And its not about lifestyle — our loans and lifestyle could be sustained if both of us simply went to professional jobs everyday.

I felt this way also, with my ex. He got to do what he loved and not work very hard, then use my money to live a life of ease and convenience. It was hard not to feel resentful of that, especially because my personality would have been to save most of the money while I was making it, but he wanted to spend more not to an extreme or ridiculous extent, but he was not going to spend any of his copious free time clipping coupons or home cooking so that we could save money — things that I happily do now that I am single and have more free time.

This was my situation—my ex BF wanted a job that he would love but also insisted on the nice apartment and new gadgets. I was busy paying down my student loans. Ended up ending the relationship; got my own apartment, stuck it out in biglaw and lived beneath my means so that I could pay down student loans and have more flexibility in where I work in the future. It really comes down to how one values money and financial priorities.

He valued his immediate happiness; I wanted to plan for the future and get out of debt even if it meant being unhappy for awhile. Threadjack on the subject of relationships.

My SO and I work in the same field, doing similar things, and are similarly successful in a major American city. In this field, there are people that while not perhaps on their way to federal corruption charges tomorrow, do not operate in a way that I respect. My SO does not endorse their beliefs or practices but does choose to network, be friendly with these people.

The fact that my SO chooses to be affiliated with such people really bothers me. I know that my SO is a good person and completely trust them, but I just do not get why they would choose to affiliate with such people. Thoughts on how to handle? I know that I have a tendency to be a goody-two-shoes but am I being too pollyanna-ish about this issue? Sorry for the grammar issues with this post!

Any guidance provided would be appreciated. I have a client who holds some to me really prejudiced and wrong-headed views about certain groups of people and the way society works.

Similarly, I would definitely network with shady people if I thought it would get me more clients! Will you have a problem if your SO continues to network with them? I think perhaps that part of my hesitation is because we are in a public sector-related field so what offends me is not that these people personally but that they are doing harm to the public. But if they are being indicted or whatever, then I would probably have a convo with your SO about cooling the networking with them!

I think there are several questions to ask here. First, where are you hearing about these supposed unethical activities. If you are just reading about it one news outlet, there is no real way to tell whether that reporting is fair and unbiased. I work for an organization that is facing some harsh criticism from one particular news outlet and as an insider, I know that news is very slanted.

I recently graduated law school and started making twice as much as my boyfriend of 2 years. When I was in school we were at the same income level so it felt fair to split everything. Once I was working full time, it started feeling unfair, especially because he is in school still. Our solution was to start a joint checking account for our dinners out and weekend trips.

Obviously not the solution for everyone but it works well for us. We actually find ourselves not using it for dinners so that we can save for trips. It has been kind of fun to talk about finances and budgeting and saving together. For the inevitable friendly warnings, we are hoping to get married eventually and his credit score is better than mine.

My SO and I do this too, although we put in equal amounts since we make about the same. I think this communal savings account for couple things though is a great way to save for big trips, etc though.

I have no idea what to do about it. Once your husband sees what life is like with two high incomes, he might like it a lot! Also, look at it this way. It can be found here: I have a PhD, think the highest degree any of my S. I often find out, eventually, that they were on some kind of self-improvement kick and saw me as part of that. That takes all or most of the fun out of a relationship, bad boy or not.

Not to be cynical, but it has never worked for me. But do know that money, like sex, politics and religion is a BIG deal in a relationship.

Both your incomes will vary wildly over your career — you get raises, promotions, you might get laid off, take a few years off to raise kids, pick a part-time career, start your own business…. I think what matters is an agreement on targeted standard of living and a commitment to taking turns to achieving it.

Secretary and lawyer is one thing; editor and doctor is another. My hedge fund friends make three times as much as I do. I have a lot of friends that went to a very prestigious liberal arts school and are very successful in their media-based careers.

That being said, I do agree that the level of wealth people are raised with can vastly shape their views. I agree with you ADS. The difference between incomes can come from something as simple as choosing a public sector career. Yep… and professors in humanities fields! I have more degrees and a few more years education that my husband; we both hold the same title Asst. Not sure if I made it clear that altho the diff seemed not to matter at first , it eventually did, in a big way.

Reading some of the other responses however, I am starting to think it is perhaps not about what you and your potential partner make now, but how you were raised and your feelings about income and social status. So it may not matter at all in the beginning but incompatibility becomes more apparent as time goes on. It is similar to dating and age. Once you get too far from your age group on either end, the ability to relate to each other fades away.

It may not matter at first but can later on. DH and I started dating in college, so we were on even footing. He got a job at a gym to pay the bills while he figured out what he wanted to do, and he worked hard at a job he hated in order to be able to kick in his share, and his gym earnings were pretty much even with my small-firm salary.

Over the past few years, my salary has gone up, and his has gone down slightly since he started a career that he loves, though it will jump significantly in about a year thanks to lock-step increases. He, on the other hand, has a government job with great job security and retirement benefits for now at least. Whatever either of us ends up earning in the future is a direct result of our joint efforts and decisions.

Similar situation here … we started out on even footing when we were dating 6ish years ago, but now I make significantly more in the private sector while he works for the government and has great benefits. What an interesting topic. I make more than my husband, who is a consultant in the healthcare field.

He also works less hours than I do. From that backdrop, the things that were most important to me were: In addition, as I got into more and more serious relationships, I realized I wanted to be with someone who had a good example of loving parents because I did not have that when I was growing up.

And you know, that was probably my smartest decision with respect to my husband. I respect him, I love him, and I am in love with him. But the thing I appreciate about him the most aside from his pee-in-the-pants sense of humor is his ability to help me put things in perspective. As far as finances, we manage them together with a joint bank account. We have never argued about my work hours, the fact that I make more money than him, or anything else. This warmed my heart.

I am in the same situation and had started to panic reading all of these responses saying it could never work. Sounds like you know yourself, your values and what you bring to relationship. It really helps define what is going to work for you. So I am not surprised you are having an enviably successful relationship.

But then the other part of me feels absolutely terrible in taking into account what my dating life might look like while analyzing a potential job opportunity! Aria, as the year old lawyer who is still single and still working 12 hours a day, I can absolutely relate! And it is all about quality of life. Even if I am still single at 40 I would prefer to have a more balanced life where I can be a more consistent friend, daughter, sister, aunt, etc.

Oh, and also just be happier with myself due to a more balanced lifestyle. This was a major part of my own decision to leave Biglaw, only at that point I was already And you know, I might miss some of the big deals and the fun all-nighters and the hour weeks once in a while , but gee, it is awfully nice having hobbies again — and I have found a great BF with serious long-term potential.

So the decision was absolutely the right one for me. Ugh, I hear you! This was me before I met my husband. I have several cousins and sisters who are a complete mess and yet found men who loved them and they have very happy marriages. I did need love and support and companionship just like everyone else. Chances are the fears are there and real and a good guy will be able to offer you real comfort.

You are absolutely on the mark. Add in to the mix that it is hard to meet someone I would want to let my guard down with and it is all a bit frustrating. Thanks for the advice and encouragement though. This can bring out some of the more positive alpha-male qualities! You just described me to a T. This reminds me of an old article crossposted on ATL. I feel you- the guys who tend to be interested in me are a unavailable, b losers, or c passive-aggressive jerks.

I have a small group of single female friends, all of us near We figure the cost of living will be low there. Seriously, I know where you are coming from. Yes, it would be nice to have a financial or emotional cushion in the form of an SO.

I recently had a come-to-Jesus with myself re: Which I now realize may not actually be the case. There were either perfectly nice boys, but boys nonetheless , or over-inflated douches. After 2 months of deleting almost all the emails, I met my now-fiance. What I did and still do love is that he has the amount of confidence and humility— no little-boy competitiveness or chest-beating arrogance. To me that is the ultimate alpha male; a guy who can be completely comfortable in his own skin.

Getting back to the earnings differential topic: He was making 6 figures and deciding whether he wanted to be a partner at his architecture firm or go out on his own. And when we decided to get married we also had the conversation about me being the stable earner and him building a business on his own.

The wait was worth it, for me. Not a bad outcome. Shared values to me are much more important than earnings. With all due respect for sanitation workers. The salary difference works for us, but because we had a number of honest conversations about our goals and dreams and this is what makes the most sense for us.

This is the perfect reason not to marry. I never believed I was putting career ahead of family — I really did want to get married and settle down — but I know when I was looking at law schools I had friends who were choosing schools based on where their S.

I wanted to be at the best school for me no matter where that was. At 33, my priorities are different and nothing means more to me than my marriage…that is, until kids show up in the next year or two. Another one here who has been told she is intimidating for all those reasons. Adding to the intimidation factor is my mixed ethnic background, which seems to scare off all but the married guys.

I have always made more than my husband, sometimes significantly more up to 4x more , and it has never been an issue. I grew up without money and knew I wanted financial security when I was grown up.

So I went out and got it. Because I knew I would always be able to support myself I never had to worry about how much the men I dated made. If you have enough why on earth would you care what the guy makes? If you say you just believe a man should be able to support a family, then you need to think about what it is you really are looking for.

My husband derives a lot of self-worth from knowing that he is being a good husband to me. Equality means taking the good and the bad because fairness requires it. He loves what he does, and it suits him. While I do occasionally think about what it would be like to have twice my salary, I daydream about winning the lottery, too. We look at it like this: We cook at home. We travel and give to charity instead of buying a ton of electronics or eating in fancy restaurants often. My ultimate point is: I have the reverse problem.

He says that he is happy to pay, and it detracts from his enjoyment when I am not willing to make such plans, while I feel very uneasy with that. He is paying for the privilege of spending time with you, which obviously makes him happy. No reason to be insecure or uncomfortable about that. Agree with Eponine — just let him pay. You can cook him a nice meal in return, or give him a massage, or plan a fun low-cost outing in return.

Not all contributions are strictly monetary. You can help him by making his life easier or more enjoyable. I figure when dating the rule should be alternating treating each other.

Your treat can be home-cooked vegetarian chili, and his treat can be a fancy restaurant. That way neither of you spends more than you are comfortable with. I am married for the second time. In my first marriage, my husband and I earned about the same amount.

In my current marriage, my husband makes less than half what I make and has been unemployed and a stay at home dad for long stretches as well. The money thing rears its ugly head all the time. My husband resents that that he works just as hard as I do yet I am so highly compensated for it compared to him.

There really are resentments on either side. He just has this built-in defensiveness about it, and I have to remember not to escalate arguments about it. But hey, there are other burdens on marriages, such as the non-monetary ones that broke up my first marriage. Great points raised here. Plus, I think he enjoys other ways of taking care of me — like picking me up from work, running errands, giving massages. So, he has one third of a mortgage and will never live in this house but his sister and brother in law and their three kids and his mother eventually will.

Fiance also pays various expenses for sister and brother in law taxes, cable bills, RV insurance. Sister and brother in law have jobs sister part time but occasionally indulge their expensive RV hobby.

I find myself feeling as though I am subsidizing his sibling. I work long hours! Without knowing more, the mortgage thing seems reasonable to me, but it is not clear to me why your fiance would also be paying for their other expenses. However, I would personally be very thankful to know that my mother in law would be taken care of, but would never be coming to live in my home.

Maybe try to focus on that aspect of it rather than the money? Mom will likely end up needing a nursing home anyway withing a few years and the money going into the new house will be wasted. You know, I agree with Anonymous says another anon internet poster. All but one of the other siblings declined to contribute to the new home because it was so impulsive and ill-researched, and the sister really did not have a great track record vis a vis sound decision-making.

And sure enough, after a year and two falls down the stairs stairs! Then all the siblings who were able to, including my husband i. Saying no to contributing to that house purchase caused some tense family relations, but in hindsight the decision was very good. Sister committed to the house herself and it is basically underwater now. For example, fiance gets to claim his share of the IRS credit for mortgage interest on tax return.

I agree that it might be better than having MIL move in with you two but may be costly for fiance and you in terms of impact.

Realistically, if SIL is going to be doing the physical day-to-day care-giving, then your fiance may be getting a fair bargain. While you may be able to deal with it, zingers from relatives yours or theirs or the larger community can wear away at someone whose sense of worth is weak. Some superheroes, like Batman , don't stumble upon things as often as set out to find them and have all sorts of explained ways of knowing how to do that. This exact point made in Zot!

The closest he gets to finding one is finding a homeless person stabbed, and he didn't witness it. If you are a superhero, then someone you know will be murdered horribly , or develop superpowers , or at least have some slightly odd seemingly innocuous problem that will be intimately connected with a supervillain's latest Evil Plan. If you're lucky, this will be because your enemies know who you are and are targeting them because of the connection. If you're a supervillain, no matter what crime you commit or where you go to do it, some superhero will be around to stop you, and odds are good it will be your Arch-Enemy.

Lampshaded in a Moon Knight series, where some supervillains who've decamped to the West Coast note that anyone operating in New York is a moron. This trope practically breaks the Shocker in Ultimate Spider-Man. He's just a bank robber with fancy safe-cracking equipment, but for some reason Spidey turns up at every job to kick his ass. The fates of Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent crossed paths a ridiculous number of times before they ever became Batman and Superman , and even before they knew each others secret identities.

The human he selected went on to use the advanced technology of the probe as the basis of a great company called Wayne Enterprises. Why Wayne can't afford a single occupancy cabin or, for that matter, his own cruise liner , is unexplained.

They are both in the cabin at the same time, changing into costume, when a bright ray of light beams through a port hole, lighting up the room and revealing the two superheroes' identities to each other. And Lois Lane wound up on the same cruise, because a female passenger chickened out at the beginning.

Apparently only one person disappeared from the cruise, so Clark couldn't be given his own room. A later comic retcons this story, saying that due to an overbooking error, there are only two rooms to share between Clark, Bruce, and Lois, and obviously Lois isn't going to share a bed with either of them.

In the Silver Age continuity, as well as in the current one, both Superman and his archenemy Lex Luthor spent most of their life in Smallville before moving to Metropolis. In other words, the two biggest public figures in one of the world's largest cities happen to come from the same small and obscure Kansas town.

In the wake of House of M , Deadpool was searching for the real Cable trapped somewhere in an alternative timeline. But just as he teleported to the real world with the real Cable, Scarlet Witch had changed the real world into her image , thus the middle aged Cable was transported into a baby It Makes Sense in Context. And despite everything changing to normal, baby Cable stayed as a baby but not for long.

It was all to being sold as a tie-in to House of M , and apart from some breather issues forward it didn't do much for the plot. The most successful human cloning scientist in the United States happens to be a woman who is the daughter of another scientist who may or may not have wiped out all the men in the world except him and Yorick and he tested on Yorick's monkey, Ampersand, who was probably the reason Yorick survived the gendercide and Yorick happened to get Ampersand through a shipping error because it was next to the monkey Yorick was supposed to get but didn't because they both escaped and the shipping guys didn't know which was which.

There are plenty more. The latter one isn't as much a coincidence when you realize that, once you grant the existence of the shipping error, someone would have gotten the vaccinated monkey , and they would probably be the last man instead of Yorick.

Very few names start with Y, so it's a pretty big coincidence that the only person in fact, the only mammal with a Y chromosome after the Gendercide would just happen to have a name that starts with the letter Y.

But on the other hand, that's the selective reporting fallacy. M is a much more common initial letter Mark, Matt, etc. Likewise, L for "last" , V for " vir ", Latin for "man" in the masculine sense, " Homo " means Man in the human sense and T for "testosterone", which he has more of than anyone are also common initial letters.

It doesn't take too much imagination to come up with an epithet that goes with almost any initial letter, so the name thing isn't actually much of a coincidence even though it looks that way.

It's also not a huge coincidence that a successful biologist has a father who's also a successful biologist, given that parents often encourage their children to choose the same profession they have, and help them on their way. Which seems to be exactly the case in Y: Since cloning is implied to be both the cause and the solution to the gendercide, it doesn't take a huge leap of faith to accept that the expert they seek to help with the problem is also the daughter of the man who might've caused the problem.

On the topic of coincidental parentage, let's not forget that the last man alive just coincidentally happens to be the son of the woman who ends up as US president once all the men are taken out of the equation. However, the fact that at the exact same moment Yorick is proposing to his girlfriend, is carrying an ancient artifact that's prophesied to kill an exorbitant amount of men when it leaves the country it's in, and Dr.

Mann and the woman her father impregnated give birth to their clone babies fits this trope rather well. Cry for Justice opens with heroes all across the world, all completely independently of each other, deciding to Rage Against the Heavens with "I want justice! Not only do the heroes stumble upon a crime , it's one that involves one villain from each of their Rogues Galleries!

Plus JLA villain Polaris. An issue of Grant Morrison 's run on JLA begins with the team discovering that seven different supervillains, by pure coincidence, picked the exact same day to try kidnapping the president. The more and more contrived coincidences occur, including retroactively in time , eventually leading to the reveal that someone's been messing with probability. Ultimate Origins tried to link together most prominent Ultimate characters in rather contrived ways.

In Convergence , it's amazing how many heroes who aren't normally based in Gotham or Metropolis just happened to be in the city taken by Brainiac at exactly the right time.

New York City is unusually small in The Sculptor. Early in the book, David Smith is unwittingly involved in a large flash mob prank. That same night, the party his friend takes him to happens to include the participants of that same flash mob. That same night, he makes friends with a woman from the group, Meg. Six weeks later, David nearly throws himself at a train , and Meg is there to rescue him, and to nurse him back to health since she apparently has a habit of treating people from off the streets.

David loses contact with his friend Olly when his phone service is canceled, but a week later randomly runs into him on a street. Most of Revival is restricted to a small radius around a Michigan town so coincidences can be handwaved with one exception: The Art of Blood and Fire shows Sonja tracking down the great chef Gribaldi, currently enslaved by swamp-dwelling cannibals. Gribaldi has secretly been freeing their human captives and cooking small lizards and eggs in their place for several weeks.

Sonja just happens to arrive a couple of hours before lizardmen, enraged by the theft of their offspring, assault the swampdwellers. Sonja and Gribaldi escape in the confusion. How short-lived 70s supergroup the Champions was formed: Iceman and the Angel have enrolled at UCLA, the Black Widow is applying for a professorship, Hercules is about to give a guest lecture and the Ghost Rider happens to be riding by just when Pluto's army is attempting to capture both Hercules and a professor who happens to be another goddess.

Creator Tony Isabella, in his foreword to the Masterworks collection, acknowledged that he had "used up a year's allotment of coincidence" with that. A common trope in the comics and adaptations is the cartridges of both of his hands running out of web fluid at exactly the same time. The pith and essence of the tale type known as "Doctor Know-All", the main character of which knows very little but is always saved by amazing coincidences that make him look good.

The girl with a ridiculously tragic backstory who Hermione takes pity on just happens to have exceptional magical potential that gets revealed later on and a twenty million Galleon inheritance. Big Damn Hero , there was a need for a Dimensional Anchor. The item found in Tsuruya's backyard during the events of the seventh light novel? Guess what it is. Averted and then subverted in With Strings Attached. The woman that kidnaps John turns out to be the person who has the Kansael, which the Fans were going to maneuver to Paul.

Which turns out to be the C'hovite gods. And the subversion is that it's not them, it's actually Jeft, who altered his own script and created his own coincidence.

Near the end of Twillight Sparkle's awesome adventure , Pinkie Pie finds a hidden elevator to Celesia 's throne room.

A minor one happens earlier on in Ponyville Goes to the When Twilight is trying to make the three dragons feel more at ease, she hears one of their stomachs growl and starts to talk about Sugar Cube Corner, and all the treats it has there. This causes them to realize how hungry they are and start to drool with hungry looks on their face over Twilight's dicriptions of the treats there.

Well, guess who everyone's favorite Moe Blob draconiphobic happens to walk in at that exact moment Athena just had to turn on the TV to see Sunset Shimmer's conviction. I mean, Detective Fulbright even specifically mentions Phoenix's name.

A common event in Sonic X: The characters especially Knuckles frequently lampshade it. Justified and weaponized in Fist of the Moon. If you try to go back in time and change things, you become massively unlucky as the universe literally is out to get you.

Falla's battle with Jovian, Jacqueline, and Evil! Falla has left the city in ruins; the HDA promptly uses this to blame the group for the destruction and place them under arrest. Animatronic Boogaloo treats the reader to the ridiculous coincidence that Not only did Dante's twin brother Vergil once work the security post at a Freddy Fazbear restaurant in , but also killed the animatronics within in almost identical ways that Dante would over thirty years later.

To the point that, when Dante was sent back in time to , he didn't even realize he was in a prequel. Of course, given every absurd moment leading up to it, it's Played for Laughs. In Flam Gush when Lina is cut by a poisoned knife in a town she and Gourry are visiting for the first time, the nearest citizen Gourry finds to ask for help recognizes Lina, having known her when they were children.

Then, the doctor Ryan takes them too once healed Gourry's mother as well when he was a child. It is implied that Erik may have arranged at least part of this for his plan for Lina. In The Fifth Act Zack is extremely fortunate that he went outside and went below Plate when he was musing over his failure to find out what happened to Cloud and Kunsel.

In Son of the Desert Edward happens to wandering Central to find and talk to other Ishvalans and Roy is literally tossed to him when he is thrown out of a bar. This is referenced in the first chapter's title: Chance Encounter, which was when Riley wandered into the beginning of Big Hero 6. Dash takes Luke and Black Three's friends in his ship to watch a fireworks display and Mara Jade happens to see it, who goes to inform Vader.

Vader is on the look out for a YT series Corellian freighter and happens to find the Millenium Falcon that was trying to infiltrate Coruscant despite being the most recognizable ship the Alliance has that day. Luke gets picked up by a different Star Destroyer, which happens to be the one the Alliance attacks while trying to rescue Han and Leia. Though given that it allowed Vader to learn Leia is his daughter and has become a Jedi, one could argue it was the Force at work.

In Robb Returns , this is a common occurrence. For example, when the Call happened, Brienne of Tarth was on the Vale, and she was pulled towards the Isle of Faces, which leads to her meeting Brynden Tully. Big one in chapter 74, where Bronn's keep is exactly in the right place to catch Lysa Arryn as the injury she got from attacking Jon Arryn is festering.

How was Vivi to know that they'd show up at Water 7 right when the Aqua Laguna would be coming in on the next day? Well, knowing the Straw Hats' luck A Gem in the Rough: After leaving Alabasta, quite a few things happen in a convenient manner for the Crystal Gems and the Straw Hats: Vidalia manages to cause Amethyst to reform after taking quite a long period of time to do so. Capturing Peridot the night after they come back.

Greg eating the Rhythm-Rhythm Fruit, which was found by Onion stuck to the hull. All of this turns out to have a logical explanation: This eventually stops after Holly gets demoted to cleaning duty with Rhodonite taking her place after she proposed having him shattered for not following orders that could have resulted in human deaths. Due to his Parseltongue ability and their belief that his father was an alien, they decide to take him off-world. By sheer coincidence, the total time that took one Albus Dumbledore to be informed that something was wrong at the Dursley residence, find the time to check it out, just about have a heart attack at realizing Harry Potter was no longer there and the Dursleys had been arrested, quietly panic, call for a search of the missing boy-hero, run into walls not even magic could get through, get mightily frustrated, finally accept that he wasn't going to be told where the child was and resort to a Locating Ritual to find him, amounted exactly to the time needed for SG-1's uncharacteristic mission to be approved, prepared, and launched.

Fievel gets washed overboard in a raging storm in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Instead of drowning, he somehow ends up inside a floating glass bottle, which somehow ends up washing ashore right onto Liberty Island, which coincidentally is near New York, where Fievel's family was headed. Luck and the ocean currents were definitely on little Fievel's side, apparently.

More coincidences occurred where Fievel and his family kept missing each other when they were in the same place. The Road to El Dorado: The guy the duo gambles against happens to have a map to El Dorado just as the Spanish Fleet is leaving for South America, the duo happen to wash up right on its shores after days adrift at sea, and a volcanic eruption happens and cancels itself just as the duo are asked for proof of their divinity.

It's clear that the four main characters ending up in Granny's house has to be this. In order, Granny Puckett arrives first, parachuting in through the chimney, coincidentally just as the Wolf and Twitchy are arriving at the house.

Her parachute gets caught in the ceiling fan which ties her up and throws her in the closet. The Wolf and Twitchy search the place, presumably for maybe no more than five to ten minutes before Red Puckett, the person they are trying to get information from about the Goody Bandit, arrives.

By even more coincidence, Kirk, the lumberjack, is trying to cut down a giant redwood tree up a hill from Granny's. By freak coincidence , just as Kirk is hearing a scream from the cottage, the tree topples and takes him down the hill, and throws him through the side window.

About half the plot is Legs working this out, since the cops originally didn't believe a word of it. Red Puckett is like Contrived Coincidence to a T: The bandit strikes her granny's store while she happens to be in a treehouse nearby he's gone by the time she reaches the store, so it's clear she jogs a short distance. Later, the Wolf just happens to show up when she falls from the cable car though this is revealed by the Wolf's story to be because he was doing surveillance on her based on information from his informant Woolworth.

Red and the Wolf happen to end up traveling through the same coal mine at the exact same time. Their carts come within a few feet at least twice, and neither character notices the other. Further more, it just happens to be a coincidence in both of their cases that they stumble upon the coal mine: Red finds it through Japeth, who lives in a mine shack that turns out to be the first building she's seen in a few hours, while the Wolf happens to find a ladder out of the cavern he and Twitchy have been traveling through having trusted Boingo with directions.

Red happens to encounter Granny while her mine cart is airborne. Granny has just escaped an avalanche and is flying home in a parachute. All four characters' encounters with Boingo have to count: In the Wolf's story, he conveniently shows up at the right time to suggest a not shortcut to Granny's place.

In Kirk's story, Boingo conveniently happens to be the first passerby to show up after Kirk finds his truck raided. He also appears right before Granny's ski race to get her autograph. This is because he's actually the Big Bad and behind much of the plot. He's by the roadside because he just finished robbing the store when he first meets Red and when he meets Kirk, he and Wolf run into each other because both are following Red, and he's actually there arranging a hit on Granny when she meets him.

The first time, when stranded in the ocean, Batman claims there's no chance of a rescue ship approaching just as Metalbeard's ship arrives. The second time, they need to build an Octan jet, to which Batman says there's no way they'll get access to a working hyperdrive.

Cue the Millennium Falcon coming in. Are you kidding me, the same bit?! In Back to the Future , the day Doc invents time travel just happens to be the same day that Marty's parents meet. It could mean that that point in time inherently contains some sort of cosmic significance, almost as if it were the temporal junction point of the entire space-time continuum. On the other hand, it could just be an amazing coincidence. What are the chances of that happening? Remember, we're talking about the Force here.

At this point, Malak himself could drop out of the sky, and I wouldn't bat an eyelash. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover whom she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.

It all sounds like some bad movie. Aren't we lucky we were there to get all that information? It seemed extraneous at the time. Watch Brad Pitt survive an un-survivable apocalypse thanks to a constant stream of lifesaving coincidences like: Why is it, when something happens, it is always you three? If only we had a helicopter. But since they were in the middle of the desert, there was obviously no chance whatsoever of finding a helicopter. Played for drama in The Pledge , when the police attempt to set up a trap to catch a child murderer.

But, unbeknownst to them, said murderer has died in a car crash on his way there, so they never actually catch him, or even find out who he was. It drives the protagonist so far up the insanity tree that he insists to keep waiting for him for the rest of his life.

The Captain had these in a few books. For revenge, they rig the teacher's lounge to spray the teachers with glue and Styrofoam pellets, turning them into "snowmen". This leads to the science teacher retiring after seeing them, thinking he's gone nuts. Thus, Professor Poopypants takes up the now-open job of science teacher, leading to the main plot.

The aliens attacking the school in the third book use "Zombie Nerd Juice" to turn all the students into zombie nerds. All it takes to change them back is a dose of the conveniently available, lampshaded generously , "Anti-Evil Zombie Nerd Juice".

A dandelion happens to grow right outside the window where George pours the "Ultra-Evil Growth Juice" out of. It goes horribly wrong. Subverted for laughs in the 7th book, where the Captain jumps out a window to take flight, unaware that he has lost his superpowers. He falls several stories to the ground, and crashes onto the only patch of ground not covered by extra fluffy pillows, a trampoline, or a haystack. When Jane, penniless and homeless, passes out in the middle of a field, it just so happens to be on the property of her long lost cousins.

Also, right before she's planning on leaving for India with St. John, she just happens to hallucinate someone calling her name, making her go back to Mr. Rochester and his burnt down house. And the mysterious rich uncle who bequeathed her the money necessary for her to marry Rochester "as an equal". Even The Eyre Affair offers no explanation for the fact that Jane ended up getting taken in by the Rivers family. Jane is not "hallucinating" someone calling her name.

In the novel's universe, Rochester is calling Jane mentally. It sounds like a hallucination to modern readers, but in the s many people, even scientists, believed that such a thing could happen.

Villette is an even worse offender. British heroine Lucy Snowe goes to work at a school for girls in some French-type country most likely Belgium , and it so happens to be the school where her god-brother serves as a doctor.

Also, her potential romance with Dr. John is stopped abruptly when the woman in France he mysteriously rescues from a burning theatre happens to be the former ward of Dr.

Shirley, in which Shirley Keeldar's governess also turns out to be Caroline Helstone's mother. Charles Dickens was the Grand Champion of coincidentally plunking long lost relatives together in convoluted plots. In fact, it would probably be easier to list the books of his that don't employ this type of plot twist. At one point the entire denouement hinges on Mr Micawber a just happening to be in Canterbury, and b just happening to walk past the Heeps' door which is c wide open due to nice weather on d the one day - and hour - that David has been invited to tea within.

This in a book that already depends pretty heavily on characters just happening to run into one another, frequently on the streets of London, then as now one of the biggest and busiest urban metropolises in the world.

In Martin Chuzzlewit, to wrap things up during the happy ending, Mark Tapley happens to randomly bump into the couple that they left behind as their nextdoor neighbours in the "town" of Eden. This even though the couple were last seen in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in central USA, and the ending happens in London. The fact that the woman in the couple is the same woman that Mark befriended on the boat to America was already a coincidence in itself.

With Dickens it's easier just to think of it as a form of Narrative Causality by which his universe ensures that anybody necessary for the plot happens to be exactly where they need to be, even if they're on the wrong continent. Oliver is an orphan in a town 75 miles from London who runs away to the big city and falls in with a gang of thieves. Obviously , the mark in the first pickpocketing caper he's involved with turns out to be an old friend of his father's.

After getting kidnapped by the crooks, he's forced to get involved in a burglary. This time the victim turns out to be his mother's sister. In Great Expectations , a coincidence that is central to the plot is the fact that Miss Havisham has the same lawyer as Pip's real benefactor, Magwitch the convict. However, for no good reason other than to tie up loose ends, it also turns out that Magwitch's nemesis is the same man who left Miss Havisham at the altar, and that Magwitch is Estella's father.

A Tale of Two Cities: Manet is sent to the Bastille by a French noble. Years later, in Englan, he and his daughter Lucy are witnesses at a trial for man who's lawyer's partner happens to look enough like the defendant to create reasonable doubt.

Manet's daughter falls in love with and marries Darnet, the defendant. It then turns out that Darnet is the son of the nobleman who sent Dr.

Manet to the Bastille in the first place.

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It's made m matches worldwide. There's an explanationinvolving a plague outbreak and a quarantine, but it's still a contrived coincidence that the quarantine happens at that particular time. If this happened once or twice I would think nothing of it, but it has happened several times now. This has been going on for 7 years, 3 while you were billionaires dating site together? Oh, and also just be happier with myself due to a more balanced lifestyle. Please let me know. Dating someone with the same exact birthday dad worked longer during the week, but took over more weekend duties.