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dirty hook up jokes

Serial reposters will be banned. Because his pecker is on his head! Direct links to images hosted on tumblr ex.

Choose from 176 jokes categories

He says " yes. Image Macros that aren't memes are allowed What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky? Did you hear about the Mexican racist? How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A hockey player showers after 3 periods. A pervert walks over to this sorority girl, he said "Bend over and spell run.

Are you a model? Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow? You're more beautiful than a hundred pink flamingos on a golf course. If I get hooked on you, will you hook up with me? You're so beautiful; your birthday should be a national holiday.

Are you looking for a shallow relationship? What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me? Don't you work at Hooters?

Can you tell me a bedtime story and tuck me in? Does your left eye hurt? Because you been looking right all day. I lost my number can I borrow yours. Is your dad a lumber jack because every time I look at you i get a wood in my pants. If I could rearange the alphabet in a order I would put U and I first. I love my bed, but I'd rather be in yours. Hi, I'm the new Milkman.

Do you want it in the front or the back? They have to give the donkey a break at some point. It's their kids who cause all the trouble. Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything. Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house. Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out. None,they just sit in the dark and bitch. One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars. When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked. Zimmerman knew how to dodge a bullet. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone. A hockey player showers after 3 periods. As I was eating this girl out I thought I tasted some horse semen I exclaimed "oh Grandma!

That's how you died! There's 50 more at planet OC. What's the difference between a mexican and Jesus Christ? Jesus doesn't have a tattoo of a mexican.. It said it was going to be offensive yet funny I am offended but I forgive you because I'm too busy laughing to bother XD. There's an open mic comedy night at the bar I work in. Some of these are definitely getting told! I love terrible jokes. Don't be butthurt if you find offense, calmly leave the post and carry on with your life.

I smirked at a couple. At this point in life I find anti-jokes to be the most enjoyable, as they aren't so predictable. I loved all of these but I feel 12 is a bit sour considering most people here acutally beleive it. I think I've seen everyone of these before.

We need new jokes people. Well, I fucking made the list. You do know that this is the original link by me. Ok, so I stopped after reading the first one. Paul Walker was actually a real stand-up guy, and his death truly was unfortunate. I've worked with this guy on the charitable side of things. To the neckbeard who thinks he's so cool for coming up with that, I hope you find yourself in a fire, but one you survive, and only after you burn for half an hour or so, slowly cooking, and realizing you'll never see again because your eyes have literally exploded in your head.

Oh, and guess what! You'll never be able to get off again, because your microcock burned off, too. If you like a joke, laugh. If you don't, don't laugh. Holy shit is that so hard to understand? Apparently you think it's hard enough to understand that you have to condescendingly try to explain it to me, kid.

This is what offended you the most? The death of Paul Walker. Not the death of 6 Million people in concentration camps?

If you can't take offensive jokes, why did you read them? Why did you even click on this, it clearly states "offensive jokes" in the title. I read them all. Because I know whoever came up with these did so for the same reason Cards Against Humanity exists.

It is a certain brand of humor called offensive. If you can't take offensive humor, don't read it. It will still exist, you will still hear it from time to time, but as long as you don't actively seek it out, your delicate sense of humor won't get too bent out of shape.

Not being sensitive at all; that sad excuse for a "joke" is in very poor taste, and has absolutely no relevance to Paul Walker. I definitely have a pair, probably much larger than you could dream of having. Oh yeah, I've even had sex before, with a girl! Why is it relevant that you had sex. Especially so with a girl? What if a female redditor had sex with a guy?

Or even better yet a male with another male? Also, people generally brag about their penis size, if your balls are so large, you should probably go to the doctor. Any guy who's actually had sex will boast about it; Redditors especially, since they're challenged in so many ways to even begin to attract a "mate" of the opposite sex without having to pay them. How many girls did Paul Walker boast about sleeping with when you worked with him??

Bet its about a million! Did you play imaginary space pirates and tell ghost stories as well? Bet his mom made him come home for tea though. Why'd you stop commenting? Your comments were the funniest of all! Please come back, we promise we won't hurt your feelings anymore. My feelings weren't hurt in the first place. And holy crap, four months. I'm curious, what do you have me tagged as?

Thought your comments were hilarious enough to provoke a response. Oh you said kid That's a stereotype and doesn't apply to all redditors. It's cute that you think all guys boast. Getting a piece of ass isn't anything to boast about really. Sluts are bountiful and it doesn't take a genius to score. I understand where you're coming from dude But it's clearly a joke, a pretty good one at that.

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dirty hook up jokes

Not the death of 6 Million people in concentration camps? So they don't poke her eye out. What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

dirty hook up jokes

They don't know where home is Q: In fact it was the biggest store in Canada - you could get anything there. Did you hear about that kid that had sex with his teacher?

dirty hook up jokes

Why was the guitar teacher arrested? How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? But it's clearly dirty hook up jokes joke, a pretty good one at that. Name the five great kings iit dating website have brought happiness in to peoples lives A: I cry when I cut up onions Gently rub the girl's back and say I thought angels had wings. Why is being in the hookk like a blow-job?