Dating only one girl is akin to having all of your eggs in one basket, or all of your assets in one stock. Three seemed much more manageable. Touch base regularly to know where you stand. Set expectations early To date multiple women, you have to understand female psychology. Too much chemistry can be faked online; you have to meet up.
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A lot of people flake on online dating. I recently experienced the spark with someone online and from the first date I walked away knowing she was special and I immediately lost interest in other women. The title of your post must contain your actual, concise question. I use online dating and I always talk to several girls at once. Should I not be stressing?
For the record, all the women I dated knew I was dating others. I always made sure to be clear and honest with my intentions in an effort to not cause any emotional pain.
I was dating two girls until last week. One of them started flaking out on our plans a lot which I found disrespectful so I stopped seeing her. The other stopped dating me to pursue a more serious relationship with another guy. The one who moved on to date another guy had wanted me to be her boyfriend, but I declined. I am moving away in a few weeks and I don't like long-distance relationships.
I didn't find it to be too much work or planning. I would make plans a few days in advance and schedule things around so that I saw both of them roughly the same amount. I'd usually try to see one Friday and one Saturday.
I didn't find it confusing either. They were very different and I got to know each of them pretty well and realized that neither of them was really the right girl for the long term, even if that had been logistically possible.
It was great being single and getting laid on the reg. Back to one-night-stands for me now though. I assume everyone is dating other people too. Until we have an exclusivity talk. As long as you don't lead anyone to believe you're exclusive when you are not, you are ok. I feel like this is a very "American" thing to do. That's the only place I've ever heard of this at least. In Norway, and what I have heard about other Scandinavian countries, we become friends first then we become girlfriend and boyfriend.
I'm sure there are people who date like OP in Norway, but I don't think it's the norm. I would not date more than one girl if I were single. I don't see that as fair for the other party and I would not like it if I went on a date and found out that she dated others at the same time. I feel that if you go on a date with someone you should be able to invest the time it takes to get to know her and then if you don't work out, you tell her that this didn't work out and after that you date someone else.
I feel that if you date multiple people, you are leading everyone, except the one you choose to date "exclusively", on. There doesn't seem to be a lot of equality in this relationship. That doesn't mean it's fair to say it's "fucked up" though. Yes, the only difference is women actively look for the other women then freak out when they find them. Men for the most part don't actively look for a girls other guys. My parents never asked each other if they were dating other people.
But I didn't know how it is nowadays. How is it cheating if they didn't discuss being exclusive though? I always just assume that the other person is seeing people until we talk about being monogamous. Because it's common practice to just be exclusive from the beginning. That's just what most normal people do.
In our culture it's expected of you. You're trying to argue semantics, yet this is cultural and semantics are not really relevant. I'm not arguing semantics. What culture are you referring to? Where I am, it is not common at all to be exclusive from the beginning. In fact, it is so uncommon that a lot of my female friends complain that it is difficult to get guys to settle into monogamy. This is a hook up culture, in which sleeping with someone and spending time with them doesn't even mean that you are a romantic interest of theirs.
If you're afraid to tell someone your with about what you're actually doing then it's cheating. If you're dating multiple people it shouldn't be a surprise to any of the people you're with. No one said anything about being afraid to tell anyone anything?
People don't bring up the topic before it's necessary to avoid awkwardness but it isn't reasonable to assume that you are exclusive until you have talked about it. There is no reason to hide it. I assume as much.
I know I'm not cut out for monogamy right now, so I'm pretty honest with women about the fact that all I have to offer is FWB.
In doing so, I avoid having to do this work and planning involved with juggling multiple incompatible relationships. This can certainly work, but if you go down this road, you really need to make sure that all sides of your love life are compartmentalized. Do - not - let those wires cross. I did it once, and it was just a huge hassle. I don't recommend it. I actually don't "date" now that I think about it. I just hang out with people I like and who like me. Sometimes I make out with those people.
Or I should say I wouldn't. I'm flying solo all my life, but there is only room for one co-pilot in this plane. It's a two person plane, so I expect her to do the same. It's either just me or not me. But yes other guys do. I know a guy who does.
I don't look down on them or anything, it's just not my cup of tea. It's called juggling and I have dabbled in the past. The way I describe it is like riding a roller-coaster that could eventually derail and land into a pile of broken glass So it's up to each individual to decide if they're dumb enough to ride.
That being said, nothing beats safe monogamy with a beautiful, caring, loving partner. You can date as many people as you want, but if you want to date someone exclusively let them know so you can avoid any misunderstandings.
You gotta dig through a lot of dirt to find a diamond. It's confusing at times. I've never been one to date multiple people at once because it gets too complicated, expensive, time-consuming, etc. Still, I'll often go on first dates within a few days of one another while I'm still feeling things out. I like this approach too! I don't think I could meet multiple people in person all at once, but I suppose the just talking is okay! I exchange numbers with all of them. Because online dating is so flaky, I always ask for a number by the second or third message or you risk them losing interest, forgetting about you, or just wanting to become pen pals.
I'll just write something like, "What do you say we get together in the coming week? If you're up for it, shoot me your number and I'll give you a call so we can set something up. I look at online dating akin to a job interview.
When looking for a job, do you just apply to one company and wait to hear back, or do you keep your options open and apply everywhere you can?
Keep your options open! Dating especially in the online realm is all about numbers. It really is a numbers game; you shouldn't have to, nor are you obligated to, put all of your eggs in one basket And even when you have gone out on a date or two with one guy I'm not advocating promiscuity or sleeping around though there's nothing wrong with a woman that wants to enjoy her sexuality, more power to her!
Be honest and upfront. Online dating is absolutely a woman's playing field; you should use that to your advantage. Do what is comfortable for you, but don't expect the girl to think the same.
In online dating, most people are seeing multiple people at once. That is why it is important to have the exclusively talk and not make any assumptions about being a couple. Heck, when I was online dating, it was the norm to have a few girls on the go until you find the one that warrants all your attention. You just have to be honest. Go nuts - as long as you feel comfortable, theres nothing stopping you from talking to more than one guy.
Once you're serious though, then it should obviously stop. In the getting-to-know-you phase I always dated multiple men, online dating or offline. Having several guys in the wings kept me from getting too attached too early, were generally enough to stop me from taking things too far physically which was usually the reason I'd get attached in the first place and allowed me to figure out who I really liked and not just get with just anyone.
I think it can get complicated but you should keep your options open and do not just settle for anything. You will learn what you like and do not like by meeting new people on casual first encounters. Going on a date is such a loaded phrase to me. You are getting to know one another and that can take time. Follow your instincts and keep a level head to protect yourself from falling into a relationship just because. Also do not assume you are the only girl these guys are talking to either.
Be patient and wait for something to click. I recently experienced the spark with someone online and from the first date I walked away knowing she was special and I immediately lost interest in other women.
We both are on the same page and realize how rare it is to find someone else with similar values. Like other people have said, chances are these guys are also talking to multiple people at the same time! But it also depends on what site you're using By your description, it sounds pretty casual, so go ahead and keep your prospects open: Talk to anyone and everyone that seems interesting.
In my experience, I'd get around thirty messages a day, and about ten of those would actually be good conversation starters. Maybe five to seven of those would also have an interesting profile and appear attractive.
Of those five to seven, maybe one would lead to an actual date. Of the 29 first dates I went on because of online dating in roughly a three month period , only ten of those turned to second dates, and only four of those turned to third dates, and only one of those became someone I saw regularly.
I did have periods where I would be going on dates with multiple guys in the same time period, but they were generally first dates and therefore didn't really lead to any conflicts. If you only talk to one person at a time, you're actually limiting your potential to get into a monogamous relationship. Lets say you talk to a guy for a week, finally meet him, and you don't click. That's fine, but in that period of time you could have gone on two or three first dates, thus increasing the likelihood of meeting someone you actually really like.
But it's important to trust your own instincts, if you don't feel comfortable talking to more than 1 girl then don't do it. But for your peace of mind it's absolutely ok to talk to multiple people! So just trust your instincts on this one and do what feels right. When you have multiple prospects it effects your attitude, it effects how you interact with any one woman and it effects your demeanor in subtle ways that only a woman can detect. You will come across as less eager, perhaps even a bit more aloof, but generally more desirable.
In short it will make you more attractive. Women have serious radar for this kind of thing and if you are all in for one girl, she might not know for sure but even without her being cognizant of why you will seem less attractive, so definitely, definitely you need to explore your options with different people until maybe the second or third date, at least.
Go out with however many people you want. If there's not exclusive talk, you're not exclusive. Personally, though, I think most people have a good idea of whether or not they'll be a good fit assuming not codependent personality type after dates. And like you said. A lot of people flake on online dating. Look at it like this: This is casual and commitment free between you and everyone you meet until proven otherwise.
Until then continue messaging. It's part of online dating. You shouldn't be stressing about this - you should date multiple people as should they. You can stop dating multiple people when you start wanting to hang out with the person you're with exclusively - but I would give that a few months.
Many people dont really start to show their true selves until at least that time, so cutting things off early would be bad. It depends on the service.
Iamges: girl dating more than one guy
I feel that if you go on a date with someone you should be able to invest the time it takes to get to know her and then if you don't work out, you tell her that this didn't work out and after that you date someone else.
They are equally interesting on paper, and I haven't met either physically yet in person. In short it will make you more attractive. You are getting to know one another and that can take time.
Heck, when I was gurl dating, it was the norm to have a few girls on the go until you find the one that warrants all your attention. You gotta dig through a lot of dirt to find a diamond. To tell you the truth, it got boring after girl dating more than one guy while. Men date multiple women at the same time. To date multiple women, you have to understand female psychology. It really is a numbers game; you shouldn't have to, nor are you obligated to, put all of your eggs in one basket
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