Online dating dangers
I am a man that got duped by a female sociopath. The more we have to put into what could seemingly be a simple situation…. Fri Sep 15, 9:
The truth will set you free!
I was ready to marry her. He appears well to do, has a good paying job and leaves in a prestigious place. I also do not engage them. Worldwide, there are 1. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. Beware the calm aloof man who will never be pushy. So he bids and get a contract in the scam country of all time.
Wonder if that is an issue to take in front of the BAR Association??????????? Weird that I feel peaceful about letting go of him but I see RED when I deal with the system because it is so unjust and does so much to facilitate these guys…. If he has an attorney…. The attny is out of it, she was his appointed defense for Federal Parole violation- she would not have handled it anyway -this is a civil matter.
Then, his parole got revoked. I have to hire an attny to represent him after he is served so that he can be represented at the hearing.
I suspect he is manuevering every way he can to stay ahead fo being charged with bigamy. The more difficulty I have with ending the illegal marriage, the madder I get and the more incented I become to get a pit bull mad dog attorney and run him down HARD.
I can so relate….. They will never just finish a chapter and move on….. The more we have to put into what could seemingly be a simple situation…. Is this a state law? Its not a law, its a legal squeeze play. Its hard to trade what I once knew for a hardened bad guy I may well have reason to fear. That would amuse me since his profile is still up there trolling from our together forever address!
You sure have to be careful about who you meet on the internet. My brother and his girlfriend met on e-harmony. Why would anyone pretend to be someone their not?
I never understood what they could get out of jacking people around. I almost believe he means it. Do all of the spaths you know end up in jail? I always thought this was the definition of a sociopath; murderer, rapist, physical abuser. Never thought it could be a husband, friend or neighbor. When and if I ever date again, the internet will be my last resort! My friend did a background check on her boyfriend before she would let him move in with her and her kids, smart woman.
But they got their money for it….. It meant he could have me working, pumping breast milk while now i know he stayed at home and played daddy-o and sold his drugs.
When that contract ended…. He was always very supportive of ME working. No insurance, a How in the hell do you feed a family on I put my foot down and said it was time for him to work…. His career guidance is troubleing….. This is one of em. YES…in this age of computers…. Just a bit of info here. My egg donor sued the Trojan Horse P in civil court. He knew the court date, and did not show up. Being in prison does not keep them from beingn served. I think someone is shining you on!
ErinBrock, I keep the doubts going, I have no idea why. With his career advice, he did have a good job and took a buy out at work. He was a hard worker and hardly ever took time off. We have been together for 19 years, although, when I met him, his house was in foreclosure because his business went sour. Now I doubt so much of what he has told me and sometimes I feel a little paranoid.
He is bad for me, he is bad for our daughter. Thank you soooooooooooooo much for keeping me on the straight and narrow. You like vanilla ice cream and I like chocolate. Or why we get so upset when we catch them lying.
They think we are just like they are FAKE! If you are kind, open, and giving, the spath mimics the same words and gestures in an imitation of what THEY think is correct responsive behaviors. They cannot, themselves, feel kindness, openness, or a giving nature and therefore must invent, in THEIR worlds, how a person behaves with those attributes by imitation.
This should be public information. He will do whatever time he has to do for 1, 2 or 3, and then be released with a new name to an undisclosed location. He will probably not be given any or much help or supervision. Around here the paper is full of them for divorces, title quieting on land, and all kinds of things. Even for changing car titles. There are people here at LF who are psychopaths, and present themselves as victims…I do not doubt that! Generally, here people come here and within a week or so, no matter how needy they were at fist, they are offering BACK comfort to others.
However, I know of at least one woman that posted here for quite some time who was a con-person trolling here on LF for a new victim, and posing as a victim herself. She was GOOD too. I think he is simply an abuser who bit off more than he could chew.
Unfortunately too many times people who present themselves as VICTIMS are simply a pit bull dog that got the losing end of the fight with another aggressive dog! The real victims are the people who get jumped on by what they see as a friend, who turns out to be a gigantic pit bull who wags his tail til he gets close enough to you to grab you by the neck! Ox, Right now I am stuck because I know where he is.
If that is the case, he may be OUT before I can do what you suggest and sitting around waiting for that to happen jumps my stomach up into my throat if what else I have been told is true. All of his stuff is here. Fine with the FED for me to hold the bag on this guy???
They turned him loose out of control. Let them get off their butts! I pay for it! Let me add that one picture is worth words. If your gut tells you the person is too young looking has too good of a body, your gut is probably right. I did not meet my x-sociopath Jamie online; however, I did stumble upon an online profile of his right after the relationship ended.
In his profile photograph, Jamie looked so young I did not initially recognize him. Originally, I laughed at this. Only later, as I learned about sociopaths, did I realize how consistent such an action is with sociopathy. The irony in all this is that when Jamie met me, he thought that me, then 38, was actually younger than he, then Here and in the outside world.
I know that is legal in most states, check yours out! Let me add another comment. Cultural differences can lead to confusion, both online and in person. Even British sociopaths are polite. They also tend to naturally communicate in a way more endearing than Americans. I agree with what is stated in that article. My secretary and my cousin both met their husbands online. Physical proximity is key.
If a relationship is going to develop and work, you have to spend increasing amounts of time together. And you can only do that if you live fairly close together. People want what is in front of them. Second, stop chatting online, etc. You are allowed one email to him.
Then he emails you back. Then either you or he proposes you talk on the phone. You are allowed one phone call in which you agree to meet for coffee or a drink. There are people out there who are really good at email, and really good on the phone. But, unless they are seated across from you, you are never going to be able to start vetting them.
And even then, it takes awhile to figure out if the person oposite you is the real deal — a fact we all learned the hard way. Sociopaths are walking among us. The point of the matter is you have to lead with your brain and not with your heart — at least in the early stages of any dating relationship.
Yes, they are among us. And we do have to be careful. These guides are pretty good and the red flag list is good and watching for good manners and social context is important.
Just a thought, is it more, or less likely to find them on the free dating sites as opposed to the ones that cost money?? Such a blast to be with in person that if there were clues, they were lost in the laughter, dancing and great conversations, in all the things we did.
Great Article Donna, I have also friends that have met people online and are very happy. I would just not risk it myself, even with the tools I have gained through experience I am just terrified that I could get fooled again. I am glad to hear that a previous LF blogger had been outed and hopefully there will be ramifications for her actions. And thanks Oxy for bringing this up that they are even amongst us here. I wonder if anyone can help me with something technical please?
So yes, really my question is could it be possible that he sends spam email and is able to make up his own subject heading? I hope that makes sense. I do know keystroke loggers…where someone remotely can see everythng you type. If a Keystroke logger was installed on your computer…covertly…. My gf has a blocked number…. If you see One step around posting…ask her…. I never answer a withheld call.
I wondered about a keylogger as I know that my usual security would quite likely miss that. Was just thinking, if there is a keylogger it must be keeping him mighty busy with all the time I spend online.
Just saw your other post. Nighty night and good luck tomorrow! I am no longer with the s but I did meet him on the internet. He was of course perfect for me. After almost five years together did things start to unravel. The signs were much sooner but I ignored them. Easy to remove, just unhook it. It was very frustrating and creepy. I think that online probably has a higher concentration of sociopaths just because it is easy.
Maybe they are just more serious about finding someone or more lonely. I think that there are quite a few married men online who lie about their status. I think there is a pretty high percentage of men just looking for sex.
But there are also a lot of genuine guys out there. Right, I panicked every time I was sent one of these and deleted it straight away. Focuses on your mistakes and ignores their own.
If you point out their mistakes, they will always be quick to turn the conversation back on you. Suddenly and completely bored by you. Gives you the silent treatment and becomes very annoyed that you seem to be interested in continuing the passionate relationship that they created. You are now a chore to them. They have extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration. After the idealization phase, they will give none of this back to you.
They will cheat, lie, insult, and degrade. But you are expected to remain perfect. Sometimes it seems as though they've forgotten who they're supposed to be around you. They adopt different personas for different people—transforming their entire personality to match various audiences.
Any ex-partner or friend who did not come crawling back to them will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear. They will speak about you the same way to their next target. Flatters your deepest insecurities. They will also mirror your greatest fantasies, playing whatever role is necessary to win your heart.
They try to arrange you. During and after the relationship, you will spend significantly more time in front of the mirror. Thank you to our member, ckwanderlust, for these valuable insights. You fear that any fight could be your last. Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially ones regarding their behavior. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise you know they'll lose interest in you.
Delighted by the idea of breaking up friendships and marriages. If you work hard to maintain interpersonal peace in your life, they will make it their mission to uproot all of it. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence when confronted with it. They will become angry if you attempt to disprove their delusions with facts.
They expect you to read their mind. There will always be a self-victimizing excuse to go along with this. Selfishness and a crippling thirst for attention. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life.
Their demand for adoration is insatiable.
Iamges: online dating psychopaths
Now, I am left to pick up pieces. Keep your head up….
Then, when he was drinking he is an alcoholic , he would have me wear revealing clothing to get other men to look at me. We learned to be passive and pretty much lived apart in a separate part of the house. This is of concern Sierra.
In my earlier dating online dating psychopaths Remember the four things that sociopaths do:. I moved out online dating psychopaths state with him with my son and since the day I moved here 9 months ago it has been hell! Our subconscious is wired to pick up on bad vibes. My secretary and my cousin both met their husbands pzychopaths. Having said that, I chose my spath ex via Real Life interaction, so if people can be fooled in Real Life, the percentages of online successes must in my humble opinion be very, very slight.
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