Alien Hookup: ywam dating rules

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ywam dating rules

So don't think I'm 'freaking out' if one letter is on one issue and another one is on something new. It would be simpler if organizations or people were either all good or all bad; but they aren't. As of , Loren Cunningham according to Gary North "began studying Reconstructionist writings…with the intent of incorporating 'dominion' or 'kingdom' [a belief that the Christian Biblical principles] theology into the ideological training given to YWAM missionaries. Are there any rules regarding dating relationships while youre doing a DTS?.

350 YWAM Missionaries Fear Forced Exit from United Kingdom after License Suspended

It was four in the morning. I will concede that when we were given the lecture on submission, we were also told that this was not absolute submission, and that it was possible to be a Godly rebel; but this was the exception. Nothing of substance was ever sent back i. When I went to Hawaii, everyone was into the Bible more and growing in their Christian life, which I saw as an attraction. A major issue cited was "the authoritarian control by the elders". When we told them what we were doing they said: The report also criticized the group's repentance as "one-sided" and the way by which they "open their Bible at random and ask God to speak to them from the passage so selected" as an "abuse of the Bible".

I tried, oh believe me, I tried to explain to Stan and Fred and to defend Roger , but they wouldn't listen. They ordered me up to the mansion immediately and told me to come to a meeting with the staff at midnight. I told them that I would come only if Roger came.

It's better that way. They stole the friend to whom I had just revealed my naked soul. Why are they so mad? Please God, please be on my side because now that there's a battle going on and Fm left standing all alone. I felt like I was in a courtroom, sitting by myself with three of them sitting on chairs facing me.

Stan told me that I had a very independent and rebellious spirit and should confess. He also reminded me that I had broken two rules: In my emotional state, I said I was sorry. He said that wasn't good enough and that he wanted to see a change in my attitude.

Fred told me that he didn't understand where I was coming from. He'd never been raped and never would be, so I don't think he really cared. I remember turning my steely eyes on him and hating him for being such a man. Then Stan and Sally discussed the matter while I sat at the opposite end of the table in the ice cold atmosphere. They all agreed that I was emotionally drained and that we'd discuss things the next day. I just lay there [in bed]. I couldn't cry anymore. The seed of bitterness had been sown and I was left wondering whose side God was on.

God must be on their side. Exhausted and overwhelmed with confusion, I fell asleep, hoping that morning would never come. The staff response had been more than just a reaction to hearing a girl scream. The next day this girl was told that if she wanted anymore help with her problem she would have to speak with staff counselors and should not seek assistance from a student.

They felt that they had all the answers, often only by virtue of Intercession and their positions of authority. Intercession is unique and generally new to the students, who are told that they will improve with practice. I was taught to think of my mind as the enemy. YWAM teachings during Intercession played a central role in undermining intellectual reasoning. If you die to your thoughts and blind Satan, then anything left in your mind must be God's thoughts.

A staff member explained to me: I'm coming to see that God's ways are often rational in the sense that I can use my reasoning to understand them , but sometimes they are supra-rational in the sense that the reasoning is far above mine - Isaiah If God was limited to my understanding, He wouldn't be big enough for my problems!

The same staff member commented on another occasion: A liberal arts education has many benefits, but it caused me to be skeptical of everything, to break everything down in my mind into rational components and compartments and sequences.

I came to the point where my faith became watered down. And we can speak with certainty regarding those aspects of God's character which are clearly defined. The problem comes when differentiating between what the Bible claims clearly and someone's interpretation, inspiration, or revelation.

I appeal to you You are taught to mistrust your mind. You are given an interpretation for every situation. You no longer need to think or evaluate for yourself but, instead, recall what was told you for that situation. Also included in this type of thought reform is the use of easily learned and authoritative sounding cliches which block studied reflection.

The kind of thinking that this sort of training illustrates reflects the remark of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard's son, who broke with his father some years ago: I've done all your work for you. I've laid the path open for you. All you have to do is turn your mind off and walk down the path I have created. The Bible not only respects the mind as an important part of the image of God in which man was created, but regards rational thought as a virtual gateway to salvation.

Satan's strategy is to subvert the mind and subdue the will into passivity, thus opening the door to spirits of deception. As a person coming from a liberal arts background, it seems as if I should have reacted more strongly against this anti-reasoning approach. But my defenses were worn down in several ways similar to the methods used in a weekend Moonie workshop.

The effect can be illustrated by excerpts from letters sent home by a DTS student. So don't think I'm 'freaking out' if one letter is on one issue and another one is on something new. It's a thinking process, and I suppose growth at that. Basically, we'll have lectures next week again, which I enjoy and learn a lot from. Time goes very quickly here - almost too fast, because I can't absorb all the lecture material. I really am finding it harder and harder to write letters because I can't write how I feel There are times I feel that they are pushing a different Christianity on me and I don't accept.

Today it got to the point where I wondered who I was I'm scared to write to you already. I'm not sure you'll understand me. I'm scared to write letters home because one day my head's full of one thing and the next ifs full of something else. Many of the lectures were two hours long and on videotape. This meant that if a student had a question about something, he couldn't raise his hand and ask it, or request that a Bible reference be repeated.

Often I would sit there listening, frantically writing down Bible references, only to get them confused. Rather, it was a chance to affirm what had been said and confess the truth that had been revealed. Peer pressure was effectively used in these sessions. One staff person defended the DTS method in this way: What one learns in physics will not have a significant effect on one's lifestyle, as YWAM study does. The family members in the Moonie workshop aim directly at your most vulnerable points: Throughout the workshop you are flooded with affection--hugs, pats, handholding, and smiles…your intellectual objection is being undercut by means of emotional seduction Conversely, a college Bible professor has observed.

In the tradition of the liberal arts, there is free inquiry - no questions barred, no knowledge forbidden. We are free, even are required, to 'test everything.

Perhaps I should have questioned the lecture material more carefully and taken more responsibility for checking out all of the Bible verses quoted, especially at the beginning, but after spending the morning listening to lectures, and anticipating the evening session, there was little incentive or time to look up every verse and see that it was quoted and interpreted correctly. I guess I just assumed that they would have checked things out - especially something as important as Intercession.

Similarly, the seeming spirituality of the lecturers, and the fact that everyone at DTS was so loving, left me no reason to believe that verses would be taken out of context. I had come to the school expecting to learn new ideas. I also knew that I would be in the group for six months. And in the past I have had conflicts with leaders and supervisors. YWAM shared another similarity with the Moonie workshop that had an effect on me.

When you refrain from sharing or resist in any way, you are met with benevolent concern There comes a point when [your] negative reaction to the regimented control gives way to their [the leaders'] automatic reaction. You then try to please, but the only way is to conform You succumb many times to small acts of conformity without realizing it. You feel guilty when you hold back… [21]. There comes a point when you react negatively not only to the regimented control but to some of the ideas being introduced, and to avoid the leaders' hostile reaction to your reaction, one conforms in little ways.

Unless you really believe in something strongly, and can back up what you believe, you would rather not rock the boat. The result of conforming in small ways can best be illustrated by my reaction to excessive confession. I certainly had not tried to hide my fear from God, but I did not feel the need to confess it every day as sin.

It seemed to me that this would create an unhealthy self-absorption. But not wanting to be stubborn, I relented and confessed things that I did not really think necessary to confess. In a matter of weeks, I was very much caught up in the spirit of confession and was an avid participant.

In the words of a former cult member. I thought they were acting like fanatics, but when I began to behave like them, I had to rationalize that they were okay. To be a member of a cult a person must remove himself from society, cut himself off from job, education, friends, and family. The principle behind this is that we maintain the integrity of the community God is building together. We were not allowed to watch TV. Religious cults are exclusive social systems, claiming that their members will achieve salvation or happiness.

Members are taught to believe that they are 'superior' to those outside the group. While there, members of the team stayed with YWAM representatives. The following was taken from an interview with several of these players. We didn't get along with the outreach group. They saw our group as just coming for the enjoyment and not really wanting to spread the news The people at YWAM were really skeptical.

When we told them what we were doing they said: For one of their meetings, YWAM was going to a gypsy camp. It's a tough place to go and have a program because they're [the gypsies] not very open to anyone A lot of people turned out.

They wanted to see what we [the soccer players] were all about. They couldn't believe the turnout and the reaction They found it hard to accept a different type of group. Cultic religions often deprecate individuality; the person is submerged in a sea of uniformity in which individual identity is sacrificed to the goals of the group.

In a lecture given in DTS entitled "The Spirit of Independence,' students were told that independence is a deception and that ultimately it can lead to suicide and abortion. To be independent was to be anti-social and a cause of disunity. After one of these questionable lectures had ended, I decided I couldn't handle the commitment time during which peer pressure is brought to bear to accept as truth that which had just been taught immediately following.

I felt the need to be alone to prayerfully consider all that I had heard. I slipped out a side door while the others prayed. But I did not leave unnoticed. Several days later, I was baptized in the Pacific Ocean, and as I reveled in that beautiful experience, one of the staff approached me. We discussed my behavior and motives for a while. He will always show you someone [staff] in the room for you to talk with.

Perhaps not being allowed to leave a lecture is a reasonable restriction. I can appreciate the DTS staff not wanting students to be wandering off any time the mood struck them. All that I have described so far can be summed up in the following paragraph: The primary control mechanisms which [function] to hold members -- spiritually and psychologically -- to cultic groups [include] It was in this context that YWAM introduced its views on leadership.

I remember being impressed by the staff lecturer who said that they had waited to teach submission because they had wanted our obedience to be based on their earned respect; not by them telling us that the Bible demanded it. At that time I had not yet realized that the strength of Intercession and peer pressure had been sufficient to ensure our obedience. A former student observed: They left that for the end because by that time our minds and emotions were so controlled by them that it was no problem to accept any doctrinal idea they'd put in front of us.

Also, since the Outreach leaders would be fellow students, YWAM needed an authority other than experience to rely on. According to YWAM, God preferred to work through this structure and would give instructions to this anointed leader who would pass them along to those in his charge; his role was similar to that of a high priest.

This idea was applied to our outreach leaders, and we were told that we were in grave danger if we spoke against them.

He said that he had had a fairly honest talk with the Outreach leaders, and had sensed that there were some problems, but he added that he would have done more if he had known how serious the situation was. It sounds as if he really tried to get a true understanding by talking with all of the mm members, but that no one gave him an honest evaluation or very many specific complaints. Yet when he came to visit us, he told one girl he was glad that she had not complained because everyone else seemed to be complaining so much.

From a passage found in Genesis 9: In other words, you can receive some wrong words of direction and still be a winner. Chris Ramsey, in The Final Solution, captures well both this theory of leadership and my feeling about it: Submission, total obedience, subjection - these are the hallmarks of the cult leader.

In the cults, submission becomes a value and an end in itself, as Peter Marin notes in his excellent essay on spiritual obedience: But that general appetite is twisted and used tyranically when we are asked to submit ourselves unconditionally to other persons - whether they wear the mask of the state or of the spirit.

In both instances, our primary relation is no longer to the world or to others; it is to the 'master,' and the world or others suffer from that choice. I will concede that when we were given the lecture on submission, we were also told that this was not absolute submission, and that it was possible to be a Godly rebel; but this was the exception. The problem for me was that by the time of Outreach, I was unable to judge what constituted an exception or discern what was cause for speaking out.

I had been taught to distrust my mind and it was instilled in us that God had anointed these people who would work through them; God had chosen them. We were continuously told by our Outreach leaders that we were bad, rebellious people.

Even when I knew that I was not being rebellious, I couldn't fight their constant judgment; I believed them. None of my friends or family was aware of the trouble that I was having during Outreach.

They were shocked when I finally shared what had happened. I had said nothing to them partly for the same reasons I had not complained to the staff at King's; but there was another reason. So much of the YWAM teaching was radically different from what I had learned growing up that I was reticent to mention it to people at home. I knew that my family would not understand what I had been taught about submission.

If they had said that the leaders were wrong, or told me that I should leave, I wouldn't have listened to them. In my mind, they didn't know any better; they were just too wrapped up in the secular world. As in the Moon cult,. You are taught that everyone not in the movement is under the influence of Satan, and that you should mistrust them.

The devil works strongest through those closest to you, they insist. This naturally offsets the concern of parents and friends. Thus, you become dependent on the group for love and positive reinforcement After alienation is complete, you are told that you can leave if you want to. It was never stated that everyone else was under Satan's influence, but it was implied that they were perhaps not as spiritual. Most rely on the use - and abuse - of information; on deceptive and distorted language, artfully designed suggestion and intense emotional experience.

Studies have shown that 'most of the [psychological] damage appears to be done in the first few months. Like cults, YWAM would 'emphasize group choice over personal choice, or urge choices aided by a leader or discipler. Many are advised to remain with YWAM and to attend another school.

Again, the influence of Intercession is felt. Even after enduring almost two months of mental and spiritual abuse from my Outreach leaders, I felt obliged to stay. The night before I left, a leader discovered me packing. It was four in the morning. As she watched me dump my belongings into a box, she sighed: I refused to dignify her comment with a reply, but she had stuck the knife in where I was most vulnerable. It was another example of the YWAM attempt to coerce me by taking advantage of my loyalty and love for God - causing me to question my relationship with Him.

I might have yielded, but at that point I was determined to leave even if God thought it was wrong. It would be simpler if organizations or people were either all good or all bad; but they aren't. Indeed, YWAM was a period of important personal growth. Observers of the cult phenomenon confirm my experience that although cult involvement is, on balance, negative, it can benefit individual members in certain ways.

Ronald Enroth refers, for example, to a woman who changed from an introvert to an extrovert and was able to resolve a number of other personal problems while in a cult. Other people to whom I have related my experience point out YWAM'ers who have attended DTS and returned home apparently not adversely affected by the experience.

In fact, those who consistently conformed never had to be coerced to embrace YWAM doctrine. Indeed, the conformists were never aware of the pressure that was brought to bear on those of us who resisted in any way. I did not hear most of the stories about other people that I have related in this paper until many months after DTS. If I heard anything at the time the incident took place, it was: He's just not adjusting well.

We should be praying for him. Different personalities respond to similar situations in different ways. But my point about cultic groups is similar to one I could make about the surgeon general's warning on cigarette packages: They are basically saying that the ends justify the means.

My reply to this was preached by Martin Luther King, Jr.: If the Moonies have applied these principles, that doesn't bother me. Why would he use something that didn't work - he's much craftier than that. They feel that they couldn't be wrong. It is manipulative and deceitful - playing on people's love and respect for God. It's as if they are afraid you might discover they are wrong.

YWAM may feel that they are protecting the students by allowing them no freedom to make mistakes, but this denies the power of the Holy Spirit and Scriptures. It seems that YWAM is afraid of questioning because they have no faith in the truth of what they believe. If it is truth, then further questioning will only make that evident. He is a resource for the truth seeker, but not the ultimate source of truth. One deceitful incident especially sticks in my mind. I found out many months later from some of the staff that the school director alone had made the choice.

The students were never told of this change in policy, only continually reminded that all of the staff must agree on decisions. The words of James 3: We all stumble in many ways.

We can never be certain that the ends achieved will be worthy, but we should be able to take some comfort in honest means. The basic thesis of this paper has been that the ends achieved by the lecture phase of DTS can easily be unquestioning submission to corrupted leaders as easily as to honorable ones.

By the time of Outreach, it was no longer only the staff who blindly supported YWAM doctrine, but the students as well. Why don't you just accept what they tell you? I probably would then have complied with any of my Outreach team leader's whims. Indeed, to some extent this is exactly what happened; it was so wearing to combat every strange idea that many times I said nothing. I felt that I must be wrong. The leader couldn't be. It is impossible adequately to express the mental strain and spiritual anguish involved when I finally did stand up for what I strongly believed in.

I, who used to argue recreationally with high school teachers, had undergone an extensive personality change. I am thankful that I managed to retain some of my independent nature - an inability to conform completely.

It constantly irritated the staff that I spent so much time by myself. I am thankful that there were one or two other people who had not lost their ability to question; they sparked in me some of the reasoning ability that I had abandoned. I am also thankful that our team leader lacked the aura that has surrounded so many destructive cult leaders - like Jim Jones. A crafty, charismatic cult leader could have easily gained complete control of me. I believe that it is a continuing danger because the people involved in my school were fairly representative of the type of people who are attracted to this type of organization.

They are trying to create a perfect community. Yaniamoto , The Moon Doctrine. The cult experience - Salvation or slavery? Enroth , The lure of the cults. Lifton , Thought reform and the psychology of totalism, New York: Bussell , March , Beware of cults with their evangelical trappings, Christianity Today, Principles, policies, and guidelines. Siegelman , January , Information disease: Many rules were observed at DTS dating was. Since every person is different, there are no rules about what to do or say, but here are some.

YWAM conducts street outreach and operates a day-care center called Kawan in. Most mission agencies discourage dating relationships during a summer or year-long venture. Know the cultural rules in malefemale relationships. Steer clear of every. U of N Reference. Discuss cultural differences personality differences to issues like - Dating,. Are there any rules regarding dating relationships while youre doing a DTS?. These segments of society should be seen as apostolic spheres..

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Instead, I would like to draw comparisons and show similarities between cult mind controlling brainwashing techniques and the DTS program instituted by YWAM.

ywam dating rules

Why are they so mad? You are taught that everyone not in the movement is under the influence of Satan, and that you should mistrust them. New York Educational Outreach Committee.

ywam dating rules

Savoca and left the house at the same identical moment. Members were ywam dating rules that "Satan comes into an idle mind" and were advised "Whenever you have a spare moment memorize. The single men slept in the basement, and the single women lived on the second ywam dating rules. BussellMarchBeware of cults with their evangelical trappings, Christianity Today, However, I also see that YWAM pushed an initiative to help ensure their "standard doctrine" about 10 years ago.